No one ever accused Larry Winget of mincing words. Larry, who is often referred to as the Pitbull of Personal Development, wouldn't take kindly to it anyway. His books, speeches and television appearances leave no doubt about where he stands and why he feels the way he does.
His latest book is bound to pop a few eyeballs, probably starting with the title: "Grow a Pair: How to Stop Being a Victim and Take Back Your Life, Your Business, and Your Sanity." Larry assures readers that the title refers to an attitude, not anatomy.
"Growing a pair is a state of mind, an attitude, and a way of thinking," he writes. "It's about giving up being a victim and taking control of your life at every level."
He adds: "It is the willingness to do the right thing even when everyone else is doing the wrong thing. It has roots in personal responsibility. ... Don't you agree that our society is in desperate need of developing that mindset?"
I will happily answer: Yes.
Larry attributes the social shift in part to the entitlement mentality, attitudes developed during the hippie generation and the idea that people will do whatever they can get away with. He says: "People will do anything and everything they can until someone stops them from doing it and sets limits and imposes consequences. Therefore, the solution to this problem is to let people get away with less."
He offers a list of 16 questions to determine whether you have "a pair." Among them: Do you allow people to take advantage of you? Do you find yourself picking up the slack for lazy co-workers? Do you often feel responsible for other people and their feelings? Do you find yourself compromising your opinions and beliefs in an effort to get along? Do people mistreat to you emotionally, verbally, psychologically or physically?
Answer those questions with a "yes, but" and Larry will remind you that you need to work on yourself.
On the other hand, he wants readers to answer "yes" to questions such as: Do you stand up for yourself and your beliefs even in the face of conflict? Do you recognize your problems as problems but know that with some hard work and a little sweat you will get through it? Do you speak up when you see someone else being mistreated?
I am an inveterate planner. My mantra has always been "Prepare to win." As I like to say, people don't plan to fail; they fail to plan. Larry puts it this way: "Most people never expect anything bad to ever happen to them until it already has."
Mackay's Moral: Control your life or it will control you.
Harvey Mackay is the author of the New York Times best-seller "Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive." To send him a question or comment, go to
tulsaworld.com/mackayfeedback.
Original Print Headline: 'Pairing' down to the basics
Column - Harvey MacKay
I WILL GO to the ends of the earth to find ways to improve communication and salesmanship, so I was delighted to be invited to Israel in July to be briefed by the creme-de-la-creme of Israel's intelligence community.
From the beginning, we are taught by our parents what NOT to do.
