The pregnant, homeless 16-year-old sat in the dark on a curb in a north Tulsa park with a phone in hand and a choice to make.

She could call 911 for her early contractions, emergency mental health workers for her suicidal thoughts or a dating service to prostitute for a room.

It's not the first time Magenia Parish has faced that decision.

"I'm more suicidal right now than in pain," she sobs to her 30-year-old fiancé.

"Watch it," he says. "Please don't say you're suicidal. Not in front of me."

Moments earlier Parish was having a breakdown.


Magenia Parish feels the hair of her friend Laura Brown while waiting for a bus at the Denver Avenue bus station downtown. MIKE SIMONS/Tulsa World

She has no shelter, no money, no bus pass, only Pringles and canned chili to eat and a delicate pregnancy.

"I can't say my life's worth living right now," she said. "I'm throwing up my hands. Nobody knows I'm a kid until I tell them. I believe in God and pray and ask for help, but he doesn't seem to listen."

Parish has been on the Tulsa streets for nearly three years.

She is one of more than about 1,500 homeless teens in the city, according to Youth Services Executive Director Jim Walker.

Walker said this population is so invisible that most residents have a hard time believing it's a serious issue.


Sixteen year old Magenia Parish, pregnant and homeless, walks to look for drinking water. MIKE SIMONS/Tulsa World

Of the homeless youths, about 30 percent have aged out of foster care, another 30 percent have been kicked out of their homes because of sexual orientation and the rest are a combination of factors, Walker said.

Some parents are fed up helping the teens through mental health needs or ask them to leave at age 18 because they can't afford to take care of them, Walker said.

In Tulsa, the number of homeless youths grew during the recession by up to 20 percent, he said.



"In my day as teenagers, we were still considered kids," Walker said.

"Today, they are almost thought of as dangerous adults. Most people believe they need to protect themselves from them rather than seeing them as kids who need protecting."

Homeless youths are created by a convergence of societal factors that are out of a child's control.

There is trauma early in life, limited access to health and mental health care, a lack of education opportunities or achievement and serious disruptions in their family lives, said Community Service Council Associate Director Jim Lyall said.

"As social, health and economic conditions decline for many Oklahomans, it should not be surprising to see an upward trend in the number of homeless youth and young adults," Lyall said.


Sixteen-year-old Magenia Parish, homeless and pregnant, starts to feel pains as she sits in a park and contemplates calling 911. MIKE SIMONS/Tulsa World

"These conditions may also be indicators for continued growth in future adult homelessness."

Mosquitos, poison ivy

The meltdown started when a man Parish met through that dating service dropped the couple off in the woods near Yale Avenue and Pine Street with a $31 tent, machete, three bottles of water and some snacks.

Hacking through the brush, they find a space to camp but aren't sure how to put up the tent.

Mosquitos are biting, a deafening train rolls nearby and the heat is making Parish sick.

She missed the free meals at the shelter and has eaten only chips and water. She has her antidepressants but lost her vitamins.


Magenia Parish prepares her campsite near East Pine Street and North Yale Ave. MIKE SIMONS/Tulsa World

"If I had prenatal vitamins, my baby would be eating healthier than me," she said.

Getting frustrated by the tent and finding themselves surrounded by poison ivy, Parish wants to leave.

"To where?" said her fiancé. "To bloody where? I don't even know where we're at."

They end up walking about a mile to a convenience store for water, where a woman lets them have a cup for free.

Trekking back in the middle of Pine Street, Parish decides she cannot go any farther.

"I'm hurting," she says. "I shouldn't be hurting like this. I feel like everything is cramping up."

Parish waits in the park while her fiancé goes to retrieve items from the camp.

That's when she hits her wall.

"We're both fighting to survive," she said while crying. "I want this to end. But, (her fiancé) is the only one telling me I'm pretty, telling me I'm smart, telling me it is going to be OK. My hope is we can get through it. I'm going to just keep going."


Magenia Parish, a homeless 16 year old, collapses in her tent after preparing a campsite near East Pine Street and North Yale Ave. MIKE SIMONS/Tulsa World

She doesn't want to attract the attention of law enforcement.

"All Tulsa police want to do is put me in the back of car and take me to the youth shelter and put him in handcuffs," she said.

Parish decides to call EMSA, hoping for an overnight stay at a hospital.

At 21 weeks into her pregnancy, it is at least the 20th time she has called for an ambulance and visited an emergency room.

Sometimes, she gets her wish and doctors have her stay overnight.

This time, she was released to the streets at 4 a.m.

"This the hardest night we've had," she said. "My mom tells me I could go to schools and tell them not to do drugs or giving up. I can't even say that about myself. How could I tell other teens not to do drugs or give up when I can't do that?"


Magenia Parish gets on a bus that will take her to the Drop In Center to do laundry. MIKE SIMONS/Tulsa World

Two days later, she was back at the emergency room with contractions and expressions of suicidal and homicidal thoughts, leading to a two-night stay under a psychiatric watch.

Medicaid covers the costs.

Raped at 13

Parish spent her childhood in Missouri not knowing her father.

She was drinking alcohol young and was raped at age 13 while intoxicated. It is one of four rapes in her life, she says.

That's when she began cutting herself, had seizures and was put on a suicide watch in a mental health clinic.

That year, her mother drove her from Kansas City and dropped her off in Tulsa with her father, who is occasionally homeless, living in camps or cheap motels.

Parish was never enrolled in Tulsa schools and ran away almost immediately.

On the streets, she has done methamphetamine and smoked marijuana.

She said the Oklahoma Department of Human Services has made at least three contacts with her father on child neglect complaints.

"My dad puts me down and doesn't care how I feel," she said. "He tends to disrespect my fiancé and that upsets me."

Her mother remarried, has three other children and lives with her grandparents in Missouri.

Parish said her mother knows about the homelessness but not the prostitution. She said her grandparents have "disowned" her because of the pregnancy.

"It's killing my mom, but she can't do anything to help me," Parish said. "My mom loves me and was hoping I didn't live like my dad.

"Since I was little, I've raised myself. It wasn't until I got out on my own that I felt safe enough to act like a kid."

'A way to live'

Parish carries two notebooks.

One is a journal, filled with curly-cue handwriting of her thoughts and dreams with hearts around the names of her fiancé and baby.

It has poems and a letter to her unborn baby, stating repeatedly, "You are loved."

The other has appointments, addresses and the first names and numbers of the men who have called her dating service.

Parish's dating service message details her body and ends with "call if you want to play."

When she returns a call, it's a negotiation, so they know it's more than a date.

Her growing pregnant belly doesn't stop the men, and none know her real age.

"Prostitution is always the last resort," she said. "It gets frustrating to have to do it, and I get depressed. But we see it as a way to live right now."

Most of the time, sex is in exchange for a motel room.

"I never ask them to pay money, but we get a room and he leaves afterward. Then, we have a room for the night," she said.

"Some guys get paranoid about getting a room so they'll take me to their house and pay me."

The rate is between $60 and $75 and she gets about 20 calls a month.

This didn't happen overnight.

One day a 45-year-old truck driver offered to take Parish with him to Texas in exchange for sex.

She didn't think of it as prostitution, and he didn't know she was barely 15.

"He was respectful of me, and I wanted the adventure," she said. "He bought me clothes and food and brought me back to Oklahoma."

When she returned, her dates evolved into prostitution.

It's dangerous.

"I've taught myself to think of it as being with (her fiancé)," she said. "He isn't aggressive. I close my eyes and just let it happen. When a guy is too rough, I seize. My fiancé deals with my seizing afterward."

She said her fiancé stays close in case the dates get too rough.

"I'm about to lose him because of it," she said. "He said he doesn't like me doing it, but he won't leave me over something so small. It's very stressful."

DHS may take baby

The baby is her source of hope right now.

She said the father is her fiancé, whom she met through Facebook and was pregnant after two months of dating.

Her fiancé, who asked not to be named, was deemed incapacitated/disabled by a Missouri court in 2007. He receives a monthly Supplemental Security Income allowance from Social Security through a state-appointed guardian and has been diagnosed with the mental capacity of a 16-year-old.

"That upsets me because he's not like that," Parish said "He is the only adult who gives a s--- about me."

Sixteen year old Magenia Parish, pregnant and homeless, finally gets drinking water at a gas station. MIKE SIMONS/Tulsa World

This is his second child.

He has given her a simple silver band as an engagement ring. He wants to contest the Missouri court order on his disability to retain control of his finances to support Parish and the baby.

"She's a risk I'm willing to take," he said. "If you love somebody so much, it's worth it."

Social workers have warned her of the possibility that DHS may be called when she gives birth.

Parish said she has made every prenatal appointment and stopped taking drugs or drinking alcohol after finding out she was pregnant.

She is confident the baby will lead to a better life.

"Hopefully, by the time I have the baby, my fiancé will have his SSI and a place to go and call home."

$40 motel room

The two spend a lot of time walking.


At 21 weeks into her pregnancy, Parish has called for an ambulance and visited an emergency room at least 20 times. MIKE SIMONS/Tulsa World

They spend time near the 31st Street and Memorial Drive intersections, taking the bus downtown for food and medical services. While Parish does laundry at the Youth Services drop-in center, her fiancé might be at the downtown library or adult shelter.

Her fiancé sells his plasma for money, which brings $50 for the first four visits then drops down to $25.

A motel room costs $40 a night near Admiral Boulevard and Memorial Drive.

The couple say shelters won't take them because of their age difference, with her fiancé being too old for the youth shelter and Parish being too young for adult shelters.

But social workers say they have been offered shelter but haven't accepted it.

Parish said life on Tulsa's streets is "extremely dangerous."

"It's more dangerous for younger people, who tend to be taken advantage of," she said. "A lot of youngsters like myself need help, a place to stay. We put up with a lot of abuse for a place to stay."

The couple sometimes panhandles for cash.

"Being pregnant actually helps with that," she said.

Parish had an appointment at a program that would have helped with obtaining a GED and job training.

She skipped it.

"Everything is day by day," she said. "Every time I plan ahead, it tends to collapse."

By the Numbers: Tulsa Youth Homeless

1,500 Number of homeless youths living on Tulsa's streets, as estimated by Youth Services of Tulsa

81 Number of homeless 18- to 24-year-olds counted by the U.S. Housing and Urban Development on Jan. 30

16 Number of homeless 13- to 17-year-olds counted on Jan. 30

28 Number of 13- to 17-year-olds in transitional living, according to HUD

462 Number of 13- to 17-year-olds in emergency shelters, according to HUD

Youth Services drop-in center

Located across from the Youth Services of Tulsa headquarters at 311 S. Madison Ave.

Open noon to 5 p.m. on Tuesdays, Wednesday and Fridays

Serves youths ages 16 to 24. Offers basic services such as access to laundry, online access, clothes closet, lockers, showers and a hot meal.

For fiscal year 2012

329: Youths served

43: Percent female

57: Percent male

64: Percent white

24: Percent black

6: Percent American Indian

5: Percent Hispanic

20: Average age

272: Youths served to date for fiscal year 2013

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Ginnie Graham 918-581-8376
ginnie.graham@tulsaworld.com