Other people were at that Fourth of July pool party, but Sid Swink didn't notice them.
"I don't know what it was about her," Sid said of Beverly, who sat by herself in a corner at that fateful get-together in 1997. "But she's what caught my eye."
A truck driver, Sid drove his truck bobtail - without the trailer - to the party.
"You can go anywhere in the country, where would you go?" he asked her. Beverly, who was from Washington state, hadn't seen her mom in 10 years. So off they went.
"It impressed her, too," he said with a chuckle. "It worked."
They married in June 2000, but Sid still considers the Fourth of July their anniversary.
This July, Beverly passed away. Sick for about four years, she spent about two of them under the care of Grace Hospice.
"I can't even begin to tell you the things they do," Sid said of the hospice and Grace Hospice Foundation, which subsidizes care for patients like Beverly and their families who can't afford hospice.
In July, Grace Hospice provided about 150 days of hospice care to 10 non-funded patients - a cost of more than $20,000, said Amy Synar, the foundation's director.
That mission will be aided by Grace Goes Country, a fundraiser set for 6:30-11:30 p.m. Sept. 13 at Cain's Ballroom, 423 N. Main St. Proceeds benefit the foundation, which also promotes the principles of hospice care, educates the community about hospice and grants special wishes of hospice patients.
Grace isn't the only local hospice to support unfunded patients, Synar said. The foundation collected data from eight other local hospices and found that, collectively, these private business donated more than $1 million to unfunded patients.
Medicare allows a hospice benefit to all individuals with a life-limiting or terminal diagnosis, according to information from the foundation.
Furthermore, the hospice nurses, nurses aides, social workers, volunteers and doctors are not told if the patient is funded or unfunded, which allows the patient's needs to be attended without bias, Synar said.
Beverly hadn't been to a doctor in years, so Sid urged her to make an appointment.
"She went in there, as far as I know, healthy," he said. But the news wasn't good - chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and irreversible lung damage.
"It was the most horrible news he could give you," Sid said.
That's when he first heard the word hospice.
"The first thing they do is make you comfortable with them," Sid said of the hospice workers. That's what helped him realize he could get through this difficult time.
"I could concentrate on loving her with what little time we had left," Sid said. "That meant so much."
Not only did they help him during Beverly's illness, but also the hospice has continued being there for Sid, doing everything from setting him up on food stamps to calling to check on him.
"They're still there for me," he continued. " Even with her gone, they don't quit."
For more about Grace Hospice Foundation, visit
tulsaworld.com/gracehospicefoundation
"Big Hats & Big Hearts" is the theme for this seventh-annual Western-themed event, which has raised more than $1.1 million for the American Cancer Society. Hosted by The Baron Society, the evening will boast gaming, dancing, live entertainment, and live and silent auctions. Other highlights include dinner and drinks donated by The Chalkboard, Food Pyramid, Juniper Restaurant & Martini Lounge, The Melting Pot, Prhyme: Downtown Steakhouse, Tavolo Italian Bistro, The Tavern, COOP Brewery and Glazer's.
Proceeds benefit cancer research. The Baron Society, by the way, is comprised of community pillars who advocate for the American Cancer Society through the ball.
Event details: 7 p.m.-midnight Friday, Sept. 20, Postoak Lodge, 5323 W. 31st St. North
Attire: Western chic
Sponsors: Presenting - Osage Casino; Wildcatter - Saint Francis Health System; Country Financial, Crossland Construction, Tulsa Federal Credit Union, FlexJet, Senior Star, Oklahoma Cyberknife, Downstream Casino
Tickets: $150; tables $2,000 (Kristin Schooley, 918-477-5415,
kristen.schooley@cancer.org)
For more: tulsaworld.com/cattlebaronsball
"Downton Abbey" is the theme for this year's dinner, which will honor Dr. Dayal Meshri and the Rotary Club of Tulsa. Also, Nancy and Raymond Feldman will be the inaugural recipients of the Nancy and Raymond Feldman Lifetime Achievement Award for Citizen Diplomacy. Other highlights include live and silent auctions, and music by pianist John Hamill.
Proceeds benefit Tulsa Global Alliance (TGA), which is dedicated to increasing global understanding and linking people and institutions worldwide.
Event details: Tuesday, Sept. 24 - 5:30 p.m. reception, 6:30 p.m. program and dinner - Oklahoma Jazz Hall of Fame, 111 E. First St.
Attire: "Downton Abbey" or business casual (Channel your inner Lord and Lady Grantham - and take photos. My email is
jason.wright@tulsaworld.com.)
Sponsors: Visionary - Dr. Dayal T. Meshri and Sanjay D. Meshri, Advance Research Chemicals; Peacekeeper - Public Service Co. of Oklahoma; Emissary - Helmerich & Payne, University of Tulsa
Tickets: $100 TGA members, $125 nonmembers; sponsorships $500-$10,000 (by Sept. 10)
For more: 918-591-4750,
tulsaworld.com/gvad2013
This 27th annual event will offer representatives from more than 110 colleges and universities, as well as financial and educational advisers from across the nation to meet with high school students and their parents. Representatives from each school will answer prospective students' questions, and literature will be available at each college's display.
College Connection is a nonprofit effort of the Edison Preparatory School PTSA.
Event details: 1-4 p.m. Sunday, Sept. 8, Central Park Hall, Expo Square, 4145 E. 21st St.
Attire: casual (But this is not your opportunity to wear pajamas in public.)
Tickets: free
For more: tulsaworld.com/collegeconnection
Zombies are the alliterative theme for this event, which provides ample opportunity to raise funds and your metabolism. Christy Hays, zumba instructor extraordinaire, will lead the festivities, which also include door prizes. Ages 12 and older are welcome.
Proceeds benefit The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, the world's largest nonprofit health organization dedicated to funding blood cancer research and providing education and patient services.
Event details: 6:30-8 p.m. Friday, Sept. 13, Whiteside Community Center, 4009 S. Pittsburg Ave.
Attire: zombie workout gear (Need inspiration? Rent the first couple seasons of "The Walking Dead.")
Door prize sponsors: Oklahoma Blood Institute, The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, Cancer Treatment Centers of America, Reasor's, Synergy Holistic, Charlie's Chicken
Tickets: $10 at the door
For more: Hays, 918-645-5905
A kick-off fundraiser for the Junior League of Tulsa (JLT)'s 2014 Spring Gala, this event includes a trunk show of Stephanie Kantis' gorgeous jewelry, a new addition to Saks Fifth Avenue's collections. From the event through Saturday, Sept. 7, Saks will donate 10 percent of all sales made to JLT's Spring Gala, up to $2,500. The gala, by the way, is set for March 1, 2014, at The Mayo Hotel.
JLT is an organization of women committed to promoting volunteerism, developing the potential of women, and improving the community through the effective action and leadership of trained volunteers.
Proceeds benefit 2014 Spring gala, which benefits the league's 2013-2014 community project.
Event details: 5:30 p.m. Thursday, Sept. 5, Saks, Utica Square, 21st Street and Utica Avenue
Attire: business casual
Admission: free
For more: B.J. Weintraub, 918-899-0001,
bweintraub@varsityspirit.com;
tulsaworld.com/jltulsa
Grab your cowboy boots for this popular fundraiser, which features a slew of fun activities, such as a balloon dart pop (each balloon has a price worth at least $50) and the "spirited" ring toss (throw a ring, win a bottle of wine or other spirit). Other highlights include a line-dancing demo, live auction, live music from the Round Up Boys, awesome barbecue, and complimentary wine and beer.
Proceeds benefit Grace Hospice Foundation, which is dedicated to increasing awareness of the importance of hospice care and subsidizing the cost for patients who can't afford to pay for care.
Event details: Friday, Sept. 13 - dinner and games start 6:30 p.m., live music 9 p.m. - Cain's Ballroom, 423 N. Main St.
Attire: casual country (Did I not just tell you to "Grab your cowboy boots"?)
Sponsors: Presenting - Grace Hospice of Oklahoma; Moore Funeral Homes, Short Oil Co., Arpeggias, Electronic Storage Corp., Dr. John K. Gearhart, Care-More Rx, PHS Mobile X-Ray, Merry Maids of Tulsa, CommunityCare
Tickets: $100; table sponsorship $1,250 (Melody Tangyunyong, 918-574-8765;
tulsaworld.com/gracegoescountry)
For more: tulsaworld.com/gracehospice
Jason Ashley Wright 918-581-8483
jason.wright@tulsaworld.com
Original Print Headline: Much-needed support
People & Places
Any evening that starts with a red carpet and Spartan soldiers forming a sword-drawn canopy over your head deserves writing about.
Come December, Shannon West will be a college graduate.
