The first time Paige Browning talked to her mother about sex, it was at the mall to tell her she might be pregnant.
She was 15. The test came back positive.
"I don't think enough parents are talking to their kids about sex," said Browning, now 17. "There is nothing in schools on this. But kids should hear about the different types of birth control and condoms. It would have helped."
Teenage mothers have similar stories - no school discussion, parents ignoring or skimming the issue, being in love and thinking motherhood would be more fun than work. All say they were unprepared for the physical, emotional and financial challenges.
Browning earned A's and B's in school, played softball and was not sexually active. Sex was decided in the heat of the moment.
"As soon as I did it, I regretted it," she said. "I thought it was going to be easier. After I had the baby, I was scared and it really hit me."
With support from her family and the Margaret Hudson program, Browning is finishing high school this year and wants to earn a law enforcement degree.
"It's going to be very, very hard, but I think about it every day," Browning said. "Having a baby should not stop me from reaching my goal. But I will talk to my son about it because I don't want him going through what I am. Parents need to talk about this sooner than they think they do."
Seventeen-year-old Jacky-lin Mercado and her boyfriend were sexually active and took a chance without birth-control protection one time.
Her parents initially made her leave home. But the family reconciled with strict agreements about Mercado handling child-rearing responsibilities.
"You realize quickly it's you who will be doing all the night feedings and diaper changes. No one else will do that," Mercado said.
Mercado credits the Margaret Hudson program for helping her get caught up in school for graduation this year. She said pregnancy-prevention information given at the program is needed in all schools.
"If I would've known that before, I probably wouldn't have a child now," Mercado said. "They show you what you need to know and will talk about the questions kids are afraid to ask."
She had wanted to be a nurse but now plans to get a cosmetology license at Career Tech.
"With nursing, I wouldn't have time for my son or family," Mercado said.
In 2007, the number of pregnant girls ages 15-19 in Tulsa County totaled 1,166. With space for only 61 girls in Margaret Hudson's Tulsa program and 54 in the Broken Arrow school, most teen mothers return to their home schools. But eventually 58 percent of teen mothers in Tulsa County drop out.
Sydnee Jones was a student at a Tulsa suburban school when she got pregnant as a junior.
"I didn't hide it," she said. "I'm a big girl and made the decision and needed to stand by it."
Jones has harsh words about schools not tackling the issue more directly, saying what is mentioned is clinical and not detailed.
She discovered her local pregnancy resource center had a spike in teens from her school seeking help last year. But a nurse told her that school officials denied a request for a pregnancy-prevention presentation.
"How can schools not talk about it when everybody else is talking about it?" she said. "I get calls every week of someone saying, 'Guess who's pregnant now?' Are you kidding me? People think you'll keep the boyfriend or all STDs are curable.
"Schools have to start talking about it and getting down to the nitty gritty. And if parents don't want to be grandparents at age 39, they better give that talk, too. There are several little programs helping teen moms, but not enough to help prevent pregnancy or bring awareness of what is happening every day."
Jones was in an on-again, off-again relationship that is still uneasy. She knows at least 20 other teen mothers, and only one is still with the father of her child.
"I thought he loved me and would always be there for me if something happened," Jones said. "But he ran like a bat out of hell. I would tell girls it's not worth it - all the drama and 'I love yous.' It's high school, and it's not real."
Before her pregnancy, she was a typical teenager playing softball, going to parties and hanging out with friends. Her large group of friends has dwindled, and forget new clothes, free time or nights out, she says.
"It was hard finishing high school," she said. "I wanted to spend time with my baby and not do homework. I wanted to play with her like any good mother should - like an older mother would."
Plans for college have shifted.
She has applied for child-care assistance so she can work part-time as a waitress and go to a local school to become an emergency medical technician. She lives with her mother and has to share a car.
She hated the experience of going to a state Department of Human Services office for help, but her mother and grandmother convinced her it was necessary.
"I have these moments where I think I'm not old enough to be dealing with something like this on my own," Jones said. "I want to get some money beneath me so I can be independent and on my own. I don't want to come off as struggling, but I need help."
Jones wants to talk to other girls about what she has been through. She suggests schools have assemblies featuring testimonials.
"If someone came in and talked about their experience, kids would act differently," Jones said. "They do that for drinking and driving and drugs, and it has made a difference. But not for sex. If a person with HIV, a teen mom or a dad who can't pay child support came in to talk, they'd pay attention. I promise you that."
Ginnie Graham 581-8376
ginnie.graham@tulsaworld.com
Original Print Headline: Teen mothers lacked sex info
