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A name for my new mistress
Published: 6/25/2010 2:34 PM
Last Modified: 6/25/2010 4:49 PM


No looking back! Unless it talks back.

As a few of you know, I like giving people nicknames. But don't we all, Mister Scream Obscenities at Other Drivers Because You're Obviously Quite Unhappy in Life (or Overcompensating for Shortcomings Via Anger, Whatever).

Specifically, I like referring in my Tuesday column to friends and folks I know by code names. Like Banshee, Semper Fry Ho, Ursula, Schmennifer Schmetley and the late-great Youngun. Same goes for the lovely ladies who've cracked the proverbial whip when it came to getting me in shape the past few years -- Mistress Leah, Kiminatrix and, most recently, the fabulous young woman at Hillcrest Exercise and Lifestyle Program (the rather aptly abbreviated HELP) who's setting me up to meet my goal of finishing the Route 66 Marathon with a pulse Nov. 21.

This morning, I warned the new lady in my life (that sounds so dorkily sordid -- so let's just call her Ashley because, well, that's her name) that she needed to come up with a column handle for herself or I'll do it for her. We'll see what she comes up with.

Although I joined the gym Thursday and worked out a little bit, today felt more like my official day to begin anew. Ashley's starting me off slowly because I made too many excuses out of life since late April to be working out and, most importantly, running as I should. So I ran a little on the treadmill, which I'll do most mornings except Saturdays starting July 10 (that's a Saturday, right?) when I participate in Fleet Feet's marathon training runs -- outside. In the heat. I look forward to and dread them simultaneously.

Ashley's also teaching me various yoga exercises to strengthen my apparently weak lower back, as well as my core. After all, I wrote down as a goal for my time at HELP that I wanted the previously mentioned pulse by marathon's end, as well as a six-pack of the "300" variety vs. the kind you find in coolers at QuikTrip.

Now that I'm back at the gym and holding myself accountable as far as exercise is concerned, I need to address my eating habits. Surprisingly, despite EVERYTHING I ate since Youngun passed away, I've only gained about 15 pounds since I quit working out in late March.

So here's the big confession: I weight 209, and my body-fat percentage is 22 percent. And, for the first time in a while, my blood pressure's high -- something like 135 over 95 or something. This morning, though, it was 130 over 79, so it's getting better.

Those numbers will improve between now and Nov. 21 -- and, hopefully, after that. So kindly say a prayer that I stick to this training no matter what comes along in my life. Like a big walking, talking pint of Ben & Jerry's Karamel Sutra ice cream that rings my doorbell late one hot, steamy night and demands, "Eat me!" I'd hate to be rude, after all.

Please stay tuned, my darling athletic supporters!

Peace, love and lots of sutra ... XOXO


Reader Comments 3 Total
upbeatontulsa (3 years ago)
Sorry for your loss. Could tell you were in a funk, but didn't understand why. So glad you're coming back strong(ish).
sherry328b (3 years ago)
Good luck. I need to do the same thing.
Brad (3 years ago)
I know the feeling - I managed to lose quite a bit of weight Jan - March this year. Unfortunately, I used most of April and May to gain most of it back! So, here goes again!... 'Good Luck to you! 'Hope you survive the summer, too!
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Living Wright

While other kids were watching "The Smurfs," Scene Writer Jason Ashley Wright was tuned in to "Style with Elsa Klensch." By fourth grade, he knew he wanted to write, and spent almost three years publishing a weekly teen-oriented magazine, Teen-Zine -- circulation: 2. After earning a degree in journalism from the University of Southern Mississippi, he became the medical reporter and teen board coordinator for the Hattiesburg (Miss.) American, a Gannett newspaper. Eight months later, with visions of Elsa dancing in his head, he applied for the fashion writer position at the Tulsa World, where he began working on Aug. 3, 1998. He is now a general assignment reporter for Scene.

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