It's a cha-cha line o' reindeer, with Rudolph in the middle.
I'm amazed I don't have an ugly and/or tacky Christmas sweater haunting my wardrobe.
To my knowledge, I never had one, even as a kid whose mommy picked out his clothes for him until fourth grade. But most of my teachers, even those whose fashion senses I complimented, always seemed to have at least one obnoxious Christmas sweater in their wardrobe. Something with a big tree and dangly presents, maybe a fuzzy reindeer with a blinking-red nose or, I kid you not, one with Santa in a chimney and a recording of "HO! HO! HO!" (over which, I'm afraid, I may have gotten in trouble for telling another student the sweater was programmed to say her name).
Although I'm not fond of costume parties, particularly when I'm fat as I am now (that ain't no current pic in the paper, in case you haven't run into me at Braum's), I love me a good ugly Christmas sweater party. Or, at least, I think I'd love it, as I've never been to one. Cue violins.
That's why I'm on the proverbial fence about spending $69 on an intentionally ugly Christmas sweater from the fun people at Skedouche.com. And by "ugly," I might mean naughty.
Check out the web site to see what I'm sayin'.Of course, I couldn't wear it in public -- unless I'm able to convince people that the reindeer are doing the cha-cha-cha.
Nosy person: "What are those reindeer doing on your sweater?"
Me: "The cha-cha-cha."
Nosy person: "Are you sure?"
Me: "Yes. My Baptist grandmother made it."
Nosy person: "Oh! Well ... I ... Uhh ..."
Me: "Why, what did you
think they were doing?"
Nosy person: "Oh, I'm so embarrassed."
Me: "As you should be. Merry Christmas!"
Or something like that. I wouldn't wear it to work, though, as some people are easily offended by certain forms of dance. I mean, I was raised Southern Baptist, so dancing was strictly forbidden outside of your bedroom while listening to Salt-N-Pepa -- which you didn't exactly publicize, especially to your parents. Amy Grant was safe, as long as you didn't get too hippy when swaying to "Baby, Baby." But I digress.
Maybe next year, I'll actually learn how to knit, which I've been threatening to do for several years. I'd start with scarves, then work my way up to ugly Christmas sweaters -- which, if you're a novice like me, would probably be easy to accomplish. We'll see.
In the meantime, I gotta skedaddle to Skedouche.com and make sure they don't run out of cha-cha sweaters.
Peace, love and reindeer games ... XOXO
Today's non sequitur: I'm not a big gamer, but I was intrigued by what made
Entertainment Weekly's "15 scariest Video Game Scenes Ever." I can totally see the "Silent Hill" and "Resident Evil" games, but ... "Super Mario "? Hmm ...
