Rose Smith (left) and Juanita Grace Barbarotto
When my husband and I were deciding what to call our daughters, one thing was clear: we wanted to keep alive some family names.
With a last name like Smith, I wanted the first names to stand out. So my husband and I spent lots of time with the baby name book and eventually settled on two uncommon first names. Then we spent more time choosing middle names.
For my older daughter, we chose Grace as a middle name -- in honor of my maternal grandmother's middle name. I thought the name was old-fashioned yet sweet. Since my grandmother is still alive, the two of them have developed an important bond.
When my younger daughter was born, we went to my husband's side of the family and picked Rose, after his paternal grandmother. Although she died when he was a young man, Rose was an important person in my husband's life. Luckily my husband's uncle and aunt have shared many family stories, as well as photos and possessions, that make her a real person for my daughters.
Passing along meaningful names is a common way to honor family members or remind yourself of history. Like many in our families, both my husband and I were named after relatives -- he has his father's and uncles' names, and my middle name is the same as my great-grandmother's.
In many cultures, there is a long tradition of naming the first-born son after the paternal grandfather and the first daughter after the mother's mother. But carrying on that tradition can depend on the name -- if you don't like it, don't use it. Don't be bullied into it because it will be a source of tension for years to come, and no one should put that kind of resentment on a baby.
If you want to use a family name but are uncertain of which one, I would suggest looking at some genealogy charts. You might find an ancestor with a name you always loved, and that can be a great excuse for using it.
Don't just look at given names. Many surnames can be repurposed, such as Jackson, Cooper and Parker.
Need help finding some ideas to name your child?
What's in a (Baby) Name from WebMD has great suggestions, and
the Baby Name Genie is just a lot of fun.
If my daughters continue the trend and decide to use their grandmothers' middle names, it's possible I will see an Annette or a Helen in my future.
Colleen Almeida Smith is a Tulsa World assistant editor and mother of a second-grader and a seventh-grader. Follow her on Twitter at twitter.com/colleenalmeida.
