Before she knew how to stand, she used to either sit and whine or roll around and whine. Now, she does the full-on "baby prison" act when she wants our attention in the middle of the night: Grabs the crib bars, stands up and howls. (Drawn by Althea Peterson)
Battle of wills: Kid vs. parent at bedtime
Published: 12/24/2012 7:05 AM
Last Modified: 12/24/2012 10:31 AM
A few months ago, I wrote about how my baby wouldn't sleep, probably due to her first cold. You can check out that entry here.
So, here I am, four months later, and we are enduring another battle of wills: My baby daughter, potentially sick ('tis the season!), has decided that somewhere between midnight and 3 a.m. is the perfect time to wake up for the day.
Unfortunately, we are learning our first lesson in disciplining our child:
(1) Do not reward fussy behavior.
When she was younger, she would wake up because she was hungry. Fair enough. A few times, she was so sick that she was unable to breathe, with her nose congestion. Also fair.
However, she is neither sick nor hungry (babies older than 3 months should be sleeping the entire night). No, we realized that she was just asking for extra snuggle time with daddy.
For the past few weeks, he dutifully rocked her back to sleep, sometimes for a few hours each night. Think she enjoyed the extra daddy-daughter time? Think she enjoyed extra hugs and attention?
We put a stop to it this week: No more extra rocking or cuddling in the middle of the night. Extra cuddling first thing in the morning and right before bed, of course, but night time is bed time.
(2) Have a bed time and don't change it.
Your bed time is 8 p.m., young lady. You are going to be in bed no later than 8 p.m. The lights will be off, you will have a full stomach and be bathed and in bed clothes.
However, you will not be playing with your toys. You will not be crawling on the floor, seeking new discoveries. You will not be holding little baby conversations with mom and dad.
8 p.m. is your bedtime. 6 a.m. is your wakeup time. Anything inbetween those hours that is not an emergency (like a dirty -- not wet, but DIRTY -- diaper) will not result in excessive attention.
(3) Stick with it.
Oh, did she put up a fuss when she realized that things were different. For a few nights, she was howling every five minutes.
We did a bit of "cry it out" with her, but also tried other methods. She's at the clingy age (9 months old), so we will sometimes be near the crib, but not trying to rock her or hold her.
It has been about a week now since trying to take back bedtime from our baby. We have just gotten two nights of full sleep in. No rocking, no soothing, just going to bed and waking up in the morning.
Someday, she will be old enough to scream "NO," throw tantrums and throw stuff when we are trying to enforce bedtime. At least right now, the worst we've had thrown our way is a little plastic spoon.
--Althea Peterson
PS: If it is Monday morning and the usual cartoon image at the top still hasn't loaded, I ran into technical difficulties and it will be posted SOON!
What my baby is climbing into this week: Her toy basket. Like a cat, she decided one morning that it was the perfect place for her to sit, so she crawled over and climbed in. Then... sat. And sat. Finally, her parents removed her from the basket. She hasn't figured out exiting the basket yet.
Baby bit: Is it something I'm feeding her? She is routinely having more dirty diapers, which also is coinciding with us feeding her more solid foods. Are there any solid foods (besides prunes, as noted last week) that should be avoided?
Mommy moment: This blog was inspired by a trip to the Internet. During a night when our routine was thrown off by a baby that refused to go to sleep for the night (at 8, not in the middle of the night), I did what I usually did when I didn't have the answer: Took a trip to the Internet. If you are visiting here after a search engine trip from the Internet yourself, welcome! I wonder what desperate, clueless parents did before the Internet...
Althea's previous entries:
Dec. 17: Weekends, holidays and sick days: No longer a vacation from work
Dec. 10: 5 things I've learned about kids in early months of parenting
Dec. 3: Trying to child-proof: How safe is my home?
Nov. 26: What NOT to get for kids this Christmas
Nov. 19: Sick or tired parents usually follow a sick kid
Nov. 12: Christmas wishlist: Gifts for parents that we've used every day
Nov. 5: What type of person our child will grow up to be?
Oct. 29: Things parents are NOT allowed to do
Oct. 22: Little parent-child time makes big difference
Oct. 15: Choosing a daycare center for your child
Oct. 8: Baby blood drawing, catheter, congestion, antibiotics...
Oct. 1: Beginnning to feed solid foods to a baby
Sept. 24: Baby's first long car trip
Sept. 17: Photos: A newborn baby in her new home
Sept. 10: Motherhood misconceptions and baby myths
Sept. 3: When a baby can't sleep and won't stop crying (possibly due to her first cold)
Aug. 27: Baby's appetite changes can make breastfeeding more difficult
Aug. 20: Mom's hospital stay after the baby arrives
Aug. 13: Returning to work after maternity leave
Aug. 6: Life as a single, working mother with a baby
July 30: Dealing with a baby's first sick time
July 23: Delivering a baby by Cesarean section
July 16: Introducing a new baby to your pet cat and dogs
July 9: Breastfeeding a baby is a challenging decision
July 2: Baby airport travel requires patience and time
June 28: Baby means there's never an awkward silence
Althea Peterson is the proud mother of a nine-month old girl. Althea returned to work at the Tulsa World in May after two months of maternity leave. Baby advice, baby questions or baby words of encouragement can be sent to althea.peterson@tulsaworld.com. Also, follow Althea on Twitter at twitter.com/a1a4ou.
Written by
Althea Peterson
Staff Writer
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