Bite your tongue; unsolicited advice is rarely taken
Published: 9/27/2012 1:35 PM
Last Modified: 9/27/2012 1:35 PM
One of the toughest jobs of grandparenting is keeping your mouth shut. Biting your own tongue is painful, but necessary.
When I was raising my own family, I didn’t seek nor desire advice from my parents. They had their chance to raise their own kids, I reasoned, and now it was my chance to correct their supposed deficiencies.
Unsolicited advice, even couched in the gentlest suggestion, is rarely taken, and can lead to hurt feelings and anger, especially coming from a mother-in-law or father-in-law.
Grandparents can, however, be an important influence in the lives of their grandkids, and according to a recent MetLife Mature Market Institute study, they are eager to do so.
The study found that nearly all grandparents want to impart a value system to their grandchildren, with the following ideals topping the list: honesty (88 percent), good behavior (82 percent), voting (73 percent), self-sufficiency (70 percent), higher education (69 percent) and good health habits (68 percent).
Grandparents say it's important that their grandchildren maintain their standard of living; 67 percent are optimistic their grandchildren will live as well as they have - believing family values, parental influence and support will play a role. Those who are pessimistic on this point blame external factors like the economy, government and society.
"The importance of grandparents remains as it has for centuries: they are a source of family history and values for their grandchildren," said Donna Butts, executive director of Generations United.
"Even today, in a quickly changing world, grandparents play a distinct role in guiding their grandchildren on integrity, the importance of education, community service and in this election year, the need to be engaged in civic affairs by voting," she said.
Written by
Bill Sherman
Staff Writer
