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Closet case(s)
Published: 5/24/2010 3:40 PM
Last Modified: 5/24/2010 3:40 PM


A closet. Not mine, unfortunately, but a closet, nonetheless.

Oddly enough, I found today's blog title less scandalous than "Guess who I found under my bed?!" And that's all I have to say about that. Today.

So I cleaned out my closet AND the scary place under my bed this weekend, with the help of Bro. GoGo. It's not that I've been living in squalor; but let's just say I'm less than domestic when it comes to spaces not in my immediate line of vision. Or those spaces I refuse to acknowledge, instead humming louder or semi-guiltily averting my attention, like I'm passing some unfortunate soul in stirrup pants, socks, Keds and an "I (heart) Kittens" T-shirt at the Neighborhood Wally World.

But as I gotta be out of my current apartment and into my new digs by Memorial Day, I had to trade a weekend of doing nothing for one of getting dirty in a totally non-fun way. And I'm so sorry that sentence rhymed, mia culpa, mia culpa.

Made LOTS of headway, purging myself of many items, some of which I actually liked. And, yes, a few things I didn't wear much BUT attached enough sentiment to pardon from the trash bin. Or the hands of an unappreciative Goodwill shopper.

Like my yellow polka dot Christian Dior Monsieur short-sleeve button-front shirt I found at Sally Ann's -- what my friend Nellie calls the Salvation Army thrift store. Or like the geisha-motif Nik Nak disco shirt I found at the late-great Groovy Threads. Or the street-sign bracelet I found at Dwelling Spaces not long after they opened.

Obviously, I'm not getting rid of my big blue faux fur coat, which more people wear on an annual basis than I do -- including at least five men who've worn it to Halloween parties dressed as pimps. Oh! And what will surely be Banshee's favorite find, a watch on a strap of burgundy fringed suede. Niiiiiice ...

I found a copy of "Chicken Soup for the Writer's Soul" under my bed (let's not ponder the irony), along with a phone book from 2006 (tossed that one), as well as lots of holiday cards (kept those that spoke most to my soupy soul). No idea what happened to the mates of three pairs of shoes. And when in the world did I buy a pair of Kenneth Cole boots? No recollection. Totally backs up my theory of selective amnesia -- like the years I spent thinking some jerk kid at my parents' weekly Amway meeting in some backwoods barn in Moselle, Miss., took a two-by-four to my brother's hand and made him bleed when I was a in third or fourth grade. Found out when I was in college that I was the jerky kid. Oops.

OK, that's all I got for now. I turn 29 for the seventh time three weeks from today. Ugh ... Halfway through my 30s already. I think I'll wait 'til my 40th to clean out my closet again. Or get rich somehow and just move so I won't have to mess with it. Hmmm ...

Peace, love and two-by-fours ... XOXO


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Living Wright

While other kids were watching "The Smurfs," Scene Writer Jason Ashley Wright was tuned in to "Style with Elsa Klensch." By fourth grade, he knew he wanted to write, and spent almost three years publishing a weekly teen-oriented magazine, Teen-Zine -- circulation: 2. After earning a degree in journalism from the University of Southern Mississippi, he became the medical reporter and teen board coordinator for the Hattiesburg (Miss.) American, a Gannett newspaper. Eight months later, with visions of Elsa dancing in his head, he applied for the fashion writer position at the Tulsa World, where he began working on Aug. 3, 1998. He is now a general assignment reporter for Scene.

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