Compromise helps avoid temper tantrums
Published: 8/27/2012 11:13 PM
Last Modified: 8/28/2012 4:25 PM
To paraphrase the singer Babyface: My daughter and I only argue on two occasions -- day and night. My daughter hates routines, unfortunately for her, her life is nothing but a big collection of routines.
We’ve got the wake up routine, the getting ready for school routine, an after school routine and of course the dreaded bedtime routine.
So basically, we’re always fighting. Each morning and night is filled with high-pitched whining pleas of “but mo-ooooom” (or daaaaaaad),” “why do I always have to do everything?” and my personal favorite: “No! I don’t want to.”
Moments like these are an exercise in patience. My first reaction is always: “Who does this kid think she’s talking to!”
And days when I’m already aggravated (most days) she gets the “you must be crazy” look, coupled with a “I know you’re not talking to me” declaration.
But on the rare occasion that I’m in “parental problem-solver” mode, I’ve learned it’s best to choose my battles and offer my daughter a little control over her own life.
It seems that having choices about even the tiniest details make these routines go a little smoother.
Here are a few tips I’ve picked up over the years:
— During our morning bathroom routine, my daughter gets to choose the order in which she gets ready. One day she may want to begin with brushing her teeth, the next she has to wash her face first. As long as her breath is fresh and the gunk is out of her eyes, who cares?
— Getting dressed is a constant battle. But I’ve found that if I let my daughter pick out her own shoes or hair accessories it usually pacifies her enough to get through the routine.
— Speaking of hair, sometimes something as small as letting her decide which way her hair is parted is enough to shed her bad attitude.
—Having at least two breakfast choices speeds things up.
— At bedtime, we follow the morning routine of her getting to choose which order we do things
— Also, letting my daughter design her own prayers seems to be more effective than reciting The Lord’s Prayer every night
It may not be what experts recommend, but I find that these little compromises make getting through our daily routines much easier. There are still times where we can’t manage to meet each other halfway and I have to punish my little diva, but I’m hoping if we keep working at it, we can avoid these confrontations altogether.
Are routines a problem for your little one? Let me know how you’re getting through these tough times? I’d love any advice.
June's previous entries:
Aug. 20: Non-traditional work schedule makes finding child care harder
Aug. 13: Back-to-school shopping like Christmas in August
Aug. 13: What is not on my gift registry for my baby: tutus
Aug. 11: Colors can be hard to grasp
Written by
June Straight
Staff Writer
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