By ANNA CODUTTI Scene Writer on Jan 7, 2013, at 2:31 PM Updated on 1/07 at 2:39 PM
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Lady Cora's mother (Shirley MacLaine) arrives and attempts to deliver a season's worth of one-liners in her first five minutes at Downton Abbey.
The season premiere of “Downton Abbey” included two hours' worth of season 3 goodness – the first two episodes of what aired on iTV in the U.K. We got to experience a lot in those 110 minutes.
1) A very sexy portrayal of
Mathry, which is what I'll call the Crawley couple. Matthew and Mary have scarce few scenes together in which they are not kissing.
2) A whole new
Thomas/O'Brien dynamic. Once thick as thieves, these villains are now doing battle. I think we all know the victor to whom those spoils will go.
3)
Maggie Smith vs. Shirley MacLaine. There was just enough venomous back-and-forth between the Dowager Countess and Martha Levinson so as to be appropriate, but then it was brilliant to see the proud old English lady beg. After the estrogen battles, the tough American and her daughter emerge victorious over the tradition-loving English gentle ladies.
4) Perhaps the biggest change was the sudden emergence of a major downstairs character:
Alfred, the freakishly tall redhead – and nephew of O'Brien, in whose ability I was impressed when she subtly coerced her lord and lady into some nepotism by proxy. The boy doesn't have it easy, but he does get to smooch the American ladies maid.
5) The downers came when we had to be reminded of the
incarcerated Bates and his appeal. Anna is working tirelessly to track down and interrogate every person Bates' deceased ex ever talked to – and of course she is, because she's pretty much the perfect woman and wife.
As for the rest of my thoughts, here is the "Downton Abbey" season 3 U.S. premiere in memes.
The Earl loses all the money by not diversifying his portfolio.

Thomas makes sure Alfred the valet screws up by sending down the Grantham heir improperly dressed for dinner, and Carson has a 10-second freakout.

The soon-to-be newlyweds are not about to go to bed angry. But the groom can't see the bride before the wedding!

No one threatens Bates with a prison shivving.

The many temperatures of Mathry.
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