By JASON ASHLEY WRIGHT Scene Writer on Jun 23, 2010, at 4:26 PM Updated on 6/23 at 4:26 PM
Diet Coke balances it out, right?
LIVING WRIGHT
As I confessed in my Tuesday column, I'm a clumsy hooker.
But I'm also nosy, as I want to hear about YOUR most embarrassing ...
Aside from enjoying humorous ones spied on others' automobiles, I'm not a fan of bumper stickers.
I blame my father, ...
During last week's bad weather, when a tornado siren sounded around midnight, I was caught at a midtown QuikTrip.
As ...
It's quite challenging to suck in following a rather hefty lunch.
Bro. GoGo met me today at Baxter's for what was supposed to be a salad and a glass of water. Instead, I opted for turkey -- with cheese, bacon and a sizable side of fries, specifically French ones. There may or may not have been an appetizer made from a blend of cheeses, served with toast points. There were definitely three delightfully ironic Diet Cokes with which to wash it all down, though. That I can confirm.
Anyway, I insisted to Bro. GoGo that it was my "last supper" (or lunch, whatever) before tomorrow's first appointment at my new gym. Technically, it's not MY gym yet, as I haven't officially joined; but my doctor signed some piece of paper saying it was kosher, and I'm assuming when I step off the elevator tomorrow morning, sirens blaring "TOO FAT! BACK TO THE BARN!" won't sound throughout the building.
Yeah, I know -- all two of you who read my blog with any regularity (bless your hearts, love your hair) have heard this song before. Sorry! I'm just proof that most diets fail -- particularly when you stop exercising and think, "Hmm, one more day of piggery won't hurt me" every day for three solid months.
But the Route 66 Marathon is upon me -- just a smidgen less than five months, scarily enough. So tomorrow, it's back on the scales, the treadmill and weight machines to slim down while working on my ultimate goal for the marathon: A pulse. I would just be tickled as pickled pig's feet if I could maintain some semblance of a pulse upon crossing the finish line.
But what's going to keep me in check this time? For now, guilt -- guilt that I didn't stick with what was rather measurable success in late January, February and the first part of March. But spring 2010 pretty much sucked big, towering, Guinness-record cacti. But enough, time to move on.
So tune in tomorrow, kids, and I'll tell y'all what happened at the gym. Oh! I have a couple of sales to tell you about then, too.
Peace, love and pickled things ... XOXO
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