By MIKE JONES Associate Editor on Mar 4, 2011, at 4:15 PM Updated on 3/04 at 4:15 PM
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I don’t normally keep up with celebrity gossip. I don’t pay much attention to the latest drunken diva missive or who is dating, impregnating or divorcing whom. But I can’t seem to escape Charlie Sheen.
He’s everywhere and everywhere he is he is making a fool of himself.
Which, believe it or not, brings me to Moammar Gadhafi, a person with whom I do try to keep up. And that leads me to the question: Who is nuttier, Sheen or Gadhafi?
We need an interpreter to translate Gadhafi’s rantings into English and a gibberish translator to make Sheen sound, well, uncrazy.
The big difference between these two guys is that when Gadhafi starts to slobber, people die. When Sheen utters some nonsensical sentence no one gets hurt, unless he is behind the wheel of a sports car or in a scrape with the latest girlfriend.
Actually, reading Sheen’s latest diatribe makes understanding him easier. Listening to him, a mistake I have made only a couple of times and that was by accident, is like communicating with aliens: You think he might be saying something that could spare the Earth from destruction but you can’t break the code. I mean, even in “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” it took a whole mountain of scientists to finally decipher five little notes. “Star Trek” had a computer that translated alien language. “Kirk to bridge: Fire up the translator, we’ve beamed up Charlie Sheen.”
Soon, both Gadhafi and Sheen will fade from the public eye. At least I hope so. Or, I’ll start forming my mashed potatoes into mountain sculptures.
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