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"I'm concussed" is the new "My dog ate my homework"
Published: 1/24/2012 7:30 AM
Last Modified: 1/23/2012 6:08 PM


I couldn't find a photo of a dog eating homework, so here ya go. Drive safe.

Y'all know I'm a freak, right? So it should come as NO surprise that I've enjoyed being able to say, "I'm concussed" since Friday the 13th.

For those not in the know, I was in a wreck Jan. 13, and my doc told me last week that I had a light concussion -- explains the headache and feeling of stupidity (i.e., heightened feeling of stupidity vs. the usual stupor in which I find myself).

Anyhoo, it's not like I've been able to get out of doing assignments, and I'm still able to drive. I'm just a whole lot more paranoid while doing it. Seriously, my back tenses up and neck hurts more when I'm behind the wheel for some weird reason. Alas, it's not the hall pass I thought it would be.

Me: "Sorry I'm late with my story."
Editor: "You're fired."
Me: "But I'm concussed."
Editor: (pause) "Write a blog about it. Then you're fired."

I thought about writing "I'M CONCUSSED" on a big piece of paper, parking in a handicapped spot and putting it in my car window while I ran into Starbucks for 90 seconds. But a handicapped friend of mine said that was horribly inappropriate, after which I apologized profusely.

Me: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend."
Friend: (flipping me off)
Me: "But I'm concussed."
Friend: (rolling eyes) "OK."

In the mean time, always look both ways when crossing a street, be it in your car or by foot. You never know who might be running a red light. Or, pardon my paranoia, purposefully gunning for you.

Peace, love and concussions ... XOXO

P.S.: In all seriousness, NEVER park in a handicapped spot, even if it's just for a minute. That's like a napalm blast to your karma. Besides, most of us could use the extra walk from our cars to the front door -- especially if you're getting a venti anything at Starbucks.


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Living Wright

While other kids were watching "The Smurfs," Scene Writer Jason Ashley Wright was tuned in to "Style with Elsa Klensch." By fourth grade, he knew he wanted to write, and spent almost three years publishing a weekly teen-oriented magazine, Teen-Zine -- circulation: 2. After earning a degree in journalism from the University of Southern Mississippi, he became the medical reporter and teen board coordinator for the Hattiesburg (Miss.) American, a Gannett newspaper. Eight months later, with visions of Elsa dancing in his head, he applied for the fashion writer position at the Tulsa World, where he began working on Aug. 3, 1998. He is now a general assignment reporter for Scene.

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