Scene - Blogs - Kleptomania Catholic school and lyrics to a Fergie song

Kleptomania, Catholic school and lyrics to a Fergie song
Published: 2/15/2012 3:30 PM
Last Modified: 2/15/2012 3:30 PM

Apparently, people who want her treasure derive pleasure from Fergie's photos. Or something like that.

I might actually get in trouble for this blog, but we'll see what happens. At the very least, it'll give us something to talk about later.

So I was sitting at lunch with my favorite lunch companions -- 007, Q and M -- and it occurred to me: I could be an advice columnist.

And rather immediately after that, I thought, "I want gravy and a straw for dinner." That was followed by trying to remember the words to "Fergalicious." Seriously, is she really singing "They want my treasure so they get their pleasures from my photo"? That's totally not what I thought, but whatever.

Anyhoo, I eventually found my way back to the advice column thought, as I vaguely recall being a contributor to the Dear Gabby column in the Chatterbox, the monthly newspaper at Immaculate Conception School, where I served my sixth-grade sentence. So I have experience.

Now, this is totally experimental and not 100 percent serious. Plus, I haven't exactly been given permission to give advice to y'all (hence the job-loss paranoia). But I thought I'd just throw it out there that, if you or someone you love/like/semi-respect needs advice of a non-life-changing flavor, I'd be happy to add my two cents.

Of course, I have caveats: No advice about kids. I don't have kids, so I won't pretend to know how to handle 'em. Boyfriends, girlfriends, pets, addictions and kleptomania, however? Bring it.

Also, in case you don't realize this, I am NOT a psychologist or psychiatrist, but I've seen nearly a dozen therapist in as many years, so I'm pseudo-qualified.

Assuming I still have a job after this, please feel free to send your questions -- you'll remain anonymous -- via email, jason.wright@tulsaworld.com. Or, if your email is like mine and not remotely anonymous, send me snail mail: Jason Ashley Wright, c/o Tulsa World, 315 S. Boulder Ave., Tulsa, OK 74103. I give points for cool stamps.

I'll post your questions with my answers (which, I can't over-reiterate, are merely my thoughts and not those of the Tulsa World and/or its reporters, editors or owners) whenever I get them in my blog. Be thinking of a name -- something other than "Dear Jason," which sounds like the start of a rejection letter or something bad-newsy from the credit bureau.

That's all I have for today, kids. Hope you're having a happy Hump Day.

Peace, love and pleasure-causing photos (eww, that sounded nasty, sorry) ... XOXO

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Living Wright

While other kids were watching "The Smurfs," Scene Writer Jason Ashley Wright was tuned in to "Style with Elsa Klensch." By fourth grade, he knew he wanted to write, and spent almost three years publishing a weekly teen-oriented magazine, Teen-Zine -- circulation: 2. After earning a degree in journalism from the University of Southern Mississippi, he became the medical reporter and teen board coordinator for the Hattiesburg (Miss.) American, a Gannett newspaper. Eight months later, with visions of Elsa dancing in his head, he applied for the fashion writer position at the Tulsa World, where he began working on Aug. 3, 1998. He is now a general assignment reporter for Scene.

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Past Articles By Jason Ashley Wright

2/14/2013		Knowledge is key in Alzheimer's care
2/14/2013		Living Wright: On a roll again
2/13/2013		Recipes: Canebrake chef shares truffle secrets
2/12/2013		Living Wright: Mardi Gras a passport to excess
2/10/2013		Valentine's contest winners: Elizabeth and Rick Franklin
2/8/2013		Tulsa area yet to be represented as 'American Idol' moves to Hollywood round
2/7/2013		Fundraiser, camp benefit kids with heart problems
2/7/2013		Living Wright: Tulsa Flea market trip yields hidden treasures
2/7/2013		Mardi Gras popularity grows as celebrations expand in Tulsa
2/5/2013		Jason Ashley Wright: Another suicide shocks, for now
2/4/2013		Eagle Scouts
2/2/2013		Street Cats to hold its annual fundraiser Feb. 10

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