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Knock-knock: What ever happened to Mary Jane?
Published: 12/2/2011 7:30 AM
Last Modified: 12/1/2011 6:03 PM


Apparently, THIS is what happened to Baby Jane. But what about MARY Jane -- specifically, jokes about her? And the good ol' knock-knock?

Two of my favorite people in the world in 1993 were from Sweden: Maud Adams and Stellan Skarsgard.

Not really. But I became great friends with two Swedish exchange students my senior year at Northeast Jones High in Laurel, Miss. Their names were Malin and Paula, and I usually spent my lunch hour with them in the library, where they'd eat dry cereal and I'd ... watch them, I guess, who knows.

Among my favorite conversations with them was one about the Swedish Chef from "The Muppet Show." His was one of only two voice impersonations I can perform shabbily well, the other being Edith Bunker singing the opening credits on "All in the Family." Apparently, when American kids speak with a mock Swedish accent, it sounds a lot like when Swedish kids pretend to be American. Go figure.

Anyway, Malin and Paula would occasionally tell jokes, which usually didn't translate smoothly into English -- like those in the "Inger's Finger" genre. One example Paula gave was something along the lines of "Everyone was having fun with the blender, except for Inger, because it was Inger's finger." Or something like that.

But they introduced me to the fabulously funny world of Mary Jane jokes, from which I had been sheltered somehow throughout childhood. Are you familiar with them? They center around a little girl (i.e., Mary Jane) who volleyed between charming naivety and complete village idiocy.

Here's a badly paraphrased example of one: Mary Jane rushed into the house one day and said, "Mama, Mama, the barn's on fire! The barn's on fire!" And Mama eyed Mary Jane suspiciously, then said, "Mary Jane, you know your daddy's gonna whip your butt for setting the barn on fire." But Mary Jane just laughed and laughed -- she knew her daddy was in that barn.

I probably screwed it up because I can't retell a joke to save my life -- unless it's a knock knock joke, the art of which we totally need to revive.

As I told y'all in my blog Thursday afternoon (did you read it?), something I was writing -- specifically, "bow chicka wow wow" -- reminded me of my second-favorite knock knock joke. Since then, though, I remembered it wasn't even a knock knock joke but this: "What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? Brown chicken, brown cow!" Get it?

Whatever, back to knock knock jokes, my favorite being: "Knock knock / Who's there? / Impatient cow. / Impati- / MOOOO!!!!" This would probably be so much more effective in person, sorry.

Still, I want to leave you with one my stylist, Lord V, tells with the frequency of a cheap AM radio: "Knock knock. / Who's there? / Yo mama."

Have a good knock knock joke? Or, better still, a clean(ish) Mary Jane joke? Give 'em to me!

Peace, love and impatient cows ... XOXO


Reader Comments 2 Total
PrayingHam (last year)
I wish I could remember jokes.
I wish I could remember anything.
fumby (last year)
a man approached mary jane as she was walking one day and told her to take off all of her clothes. she did, adn he took her clothes and ran away. mary jane, standing in her birthday suit, just laughed and laughed - she knew her clothes would not fit that man...Mary Jane was babysitting and took the baby for a walk in its stroller when she found herself on top of a huge hill. she pushed the stroller, with the baby inside, down the hill. as she watched the stroller gain speed, mary jane just laughed and laughed - she knew there was a stop sign at the bottom of the hill. thats all i can remember. thanks for digging up some old memories.
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Living Wright

While other kids were watching "The Smurfs," Scene Writer Jason Ashley Wright was tuned in to "Style with Elsa Klensch." By fourth grade, he knew he wanted to write, and spent almost three years publishing a weekly teen-oriented magazine, Teen-Zine -- circulation: 2. After earning a degree in journalism from the University of Southern Mississippi, he became the medical reporter and teen board coordinator for the Hattiesburg (Miss.) American, a Gannett newspaper. Eight months later, with visions of Elsa dancing in his head, he applied for the fashion writer position at the Tulsa World, where he began working on Aug. 3, 1998. He is now a general assignment reporter for Scene.

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