(A) My hair actually does look like this, all over the place, it's not just because I'm a bad artist. (B) My baby's carseat is nearly perfect, because it can quickly attach to a stroller or detach from the car. However, it gives me a lot of leg bruises. (C) I don't have free hands, so my house and car keys, as well as my work tag, need to hang around my neck. (D) The cooler where I keep my baby's milk for daycare. Also has pockets for spare onesies after diaper explosions. (E) I used to have a normal purse like most women, but then I discovered the joys of freeing up hands with a backpack purse. I highly recommend it! (F) I used to have a big cookbook in my breastpump bag, but that made it heavy. (G) I don't just wear skirts and sandals because it's hot, it's because it'll be about the only thing that fits after giving birth aside from maternity clothes. And it's hot.
As the adult in the household, it's important to keep the situation under control, even as everything's spiraling out of control. I've found that during moments of mayhem, singing is a good way to keep the baby happy, and keeping yourself sane.
I really have no idea how single parents can handle an infant after a few weeks of trying it myself.
Just to be clear, I am married and my husband is a wonderful father and great breadwinner and everything you'd want in a role model for our little baby girl.
However, for two weeks, sans the weekend, he needed to leave town on business, which leaves me home alone with our infant daughter... and our pets too, I guess.
Here is a diary, day-by-day, of what I experienced that first week alone:
Day 1: Oh, that wasn't so bad. Husband left in the afternoon, I pick up baby from daycare, everyone's in bed by 8 p.m. Well, she woke up at 8:30, so I'll try bedtime again. My dogs are barking at people walking by a 9 p.m., so now to calm them down so they don't wake the baby. Why do people walk by so late in the day? Stupid Tulsa hot weather.
Day 2: 5 a.m. wakeup? No, baby and pets, mommy wants to sleep till 6 a.m. By the time I'm ready to head out the door, I forget several things and have to return. After work, baby only gives me a minute in her car seat till she wants out, and the dogs haven't been fed, let out, and the microwave dinner is not ready. Crying. I rush around trying frantically to get everything done. More crying. Finally, I'm ready for baby time. She goes to bed at 8 p.m., but wakes herself at 11:30 p.m. Argh...
Day 3: No morning drama fortunately, so let's just get stuff ready for work as you sit on top of your playmat DID YOU JUST FLIP YOURSELF ONTO YOUR STOMACH BY YOURSELF?! Oh dear, guess I can't leave that on the table, anymore. After work, I cut corners as I know I shouldn't: Park the baby in front of the TV for a few minutes to feed dogs and fix dinner. I know every baby book says not to, but I really need to get the trash out to the curb.
Day 4: What an uneventful morning. I have this whole single mom thing down perfectly! Nothing's going wrong... the daycare center called and baby's vomiting. Help! (read
last week's entry for all of the craziness that having a sick baby entails)
Day 5: Parents came by last night to help with sick baby. Fortunately, a good night's sleep after craziness, and mom volunteered to watch her at home today.
It's weeks like this that I have a greater appreciation for several things.
(1)I'm not still in high school or even in college.
(2) That I have a strong network of family and friends that are a call away if things go crazy
(3) That my daughter is old enough now that she can make it through most nights sleeping without needing us to get up to feed/change/cuddle her.
And of course, a greater appreciation for fathers like my husband. Mommies might be able to go through the motions on their own after awhile, but there's no denying the strength and support of a two-parent household.
--Althea Peterson
PS: Please join me again next week Monday as I reflect on the transition from maternity leave to returning to work.
Trimesterly tribute: While I've heard stories of expecting mothers being able to continue workouts or even run marathons, I used the OBGYN's recommendation of not raising my heart rate above 150 to my full advantage. I stopped running the treadmill at the gym and instead opted to walk the dogs daily instead. Even with a slower pace, I was still finding myself short of breath pretty much the entire pregnancy.
Mommy moment: I felt pain one day on one side after pumping breastmilk, and lo and behold, one of the bottles had distinctly pink milk in it. It was like strawberry milkshake color or something. After leaving it overnight in the fridge by itself, it was undoubtedly blood (the tiny splotches sank to the bottom, while the creamy milk rose to the top). It was an extra reminder to not push myself with pumping, even as my baby's appetite grows.
Baby bit: Crinkle, crinkle, crinkle. At my daughter's 4-month checkup, before the screaming booster shots, she had a lot of fun. That paper tha they put over the patient chair? Baby loved the noise that it made when she moved around on it. However, the real fun happened when she flipped herself onto her stomach. Suddenly, the crinkle paper was next to her mouth. She began eating it.
Althea Peterson is the proud mother of a 4-month-old girl. Althea returned to work at the Tulsa World in May after two months of maternity leave. Baby advice, baby questions or baby words of encouragement can be sent to althea.peterson@tulsaworld.com. Also, follow Althea and other parents on Twitter at twitter.com/twbecauseisaid.
