Mom's first field trip
Published: 11/25/2012 10:58 PM
Last Modified: 11/25/2012 11:00 PM
What do you get when you mix guilt, exhaustion and crazy postpartum hormones? Horrible parenting decisions. I should know, I’ve been making a lot of them lately. Like allowing my 7-year-old daughter to sleep with me so she doesn’t feel replaced by the baby; skipping sleep to attend school-sponsored events so said daughter feels important; and (the worse parenting decision by far) volunteering to chaperone a school field trip.
Who knows what was going through my head when I asked Collette’s teacher if she needed any help with the field trip. Looking back, I was probably hoping she’d say, “too late, maybe next time,” or even better “your background check raised a red flag, so you can never volunteer!” Unfortunately, my record was clear and their list of volunteers was short, so I was welcomed with open arms.
The end result was an exercise in patience. Let me preface this tale with some fun facts about me.
a. I don’t really like children who aren’t related to me or to people I genuinely like.
b.Children really like me and sometimes feel compelled to hug and hang all over me within the first five minutes of meeting.
OK, so back to the field trip. As there were only two parent volunteers in my daughter’s class, I was assigned to seven giggling girls, my daughter and her band of besties. Also in tow, was my 7-week-old Rose Amoy and her fully-loaded supply tank stroller. Thankfully, I thought to pack her baby sling, as the stroller would go on to become a cart for all the things the girls were too tired to carry on our trek.
The trip began alright, I let the girls pick a team name “The fairies.” When it was time to round them up, I told them, I’d raise my fist in the air and yell “Fairies Unite.” They’d all fly back to me, their fairy beacon, and we’d move on as a team.
With Collette there to help, I didn’t have to chase after anyone or learn any names, which would have been a disaster as my mind was already forming horribly offensive nicknames like “mousy, whiney, little Ke$ha.”
Halfway through the trip my focus was on keeping my little fairies within 20 feet of me and not rolling my eyes with every hug and high five I doled out.
It was around that time that the girls decided the field trip would go better, if they could each do their own thing. Collette’s thing was throwing fits to become the center of my attention, her band of besties were content on running in opposite directions and mocking me by each sending out their own “Fairies Unite!” call. Baby Rose decided her own thing was to draw attention to herself by being adorable while making a super poopie diaper in her baby sling.
Thankfully it was about this time that the heavens opened and light shined through the crowd to the blessed ladies room. And wouldn’t you know all the fairies had to pee. Thank God for small bladders!
By the time we made it out of the bathroom, our teacher announced that we had about 15 minutes left before it was time to round up the kids. And, another blessing appeared -- a table big enough for all the girls to sit and color!
And then it was over. I returned 6 of the kids to the teacher and buckled the seventh into her seat in my minivan. I survived my first field trip and so did the kids. Success!
Next time, I’ll limit my volunteer skills to classroom activities and buying supplies, although, I’m sure the Bestie Band of Fairies wouldn’t mind another adventure with Miss Collette’s mom.
A few tips for keeping up with other people’s kids
1. Make up nicknames (even if their only used in your head) so you’ll be more likely to notice if a kid is missing.
2. Have the kids partner up and encourage the buddy system
3. Pick a helper to help you with headcounts and roundups
4. Establish your rules early on and remind kids of them frequently
5. Make sure the kids know your name, their teacher’s name and their school in case they get separated
What are your best field trip stories? Tips?
Written by
June Straight
Staff Writer
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