READ TODAY'S STORIES AND E-EDITION SUBSCRIBE |  CONTACT US |  SIGN IN

Print story only Print story with comments Email Twitter Facebook Pinterest
Move over, Miss Winehouse -- I'm headin' to rehab
Published: 6/19/2008 5:42 PM
Last Modified: 6/19/2008 5:42 PM

I'm still coming down from this morning's high.

Although I've never been a coffee drinker, I've taken occasionally to stealing bags of Starbucks Breakfast Blend to grind at home, then snort with free straws from QuikTrip. Kidding.

OK, so I'm a huge fan of iced and frozen coffee beverages lately. I usually get 'em from 'Bucks because, like Walgreens, there's one on almost every corner. Talk about convenience stores.

I drink these mostly in the summer, as often as four times a week, maybe even once on the weekend. This morning, though, I wandered downtown at 9:15 looking for a breakfast burrito (no idea, just sounded like a good one). But I kept comin' up short in the vittle-finding department and popped into Topeca Coffee -- awesome, loved it, tell your mama.

But, as is always the case, I get this foreign rush of energy, which I fuel further at lunch via Diet Pepsi at Billy's (love their chicken strips). By 1 p.m., I'm grinding my teeth and coming up with "clever things" to put in my column -- things that make NO sense to anyone else. But dangit to Darfur, I feel like I'm radiating with productive potency -- puissance, if you will. Thank God for synonyms.

See, see what I mean? This is ALL caffeine's fault. Well, maybe that of my neuroses, too -- dusted deliriously like nutmeg on a venti mocha frappuccino. Whatever, I can't ween myself off yet. Just this afternoon during a benefits meeting at work, I glugged down a Diet Coke. I couldn't keep my foot still while my eyes darted madly about the room -- their focus, that is, not my actual orbs.

I even Googled "caffeine" and "rehab" -- nada, save for several gazillion articles about people quitting. I was kinda hoping for an out-of-state, poolside shelter with no vending machines, where I could rest up and decaffeinate myself for a couple of weeks. Not expensive like Lindsay Lohan's or Britney's get-better centers but significantly discounted. Maybe like a fancy kennel. Oooh, this could be a new niche market for Walmart: Discount detoxification centers, each with a Sam's Choice cafe.

Heaven forbid I just drink water. Then again, considering I spend about $30 a week on caffeinated beverages -- eww, that's $100+ a month -- maybe water's the way to go.

'Til then, say a prayer, light a Yankee Candle for me. I'd do it myself, but my Hazlenut Coffee-scented one ran out a few weeks ago.

Peace, love and darting orbs ... xoxo


Reader Comments 1 Total
elly willy (5 years ago)
Jason, I have to say your writting just is the best part of the paper,besides the obits.
Who else could use the word
PUISSANCE in a sentence
1 comments displayed


To post comments on tulsaworld.com, you must be an active Tulsa World print or digital subscriber and signed into your account.

Living Wright

While other kids were watching "The Smurfs," Scene Writer Jason Ashley Wright was tuned in to "Style with Elsa Klensch." By fourth grade, he knew he wanted to write, and spent almost three years publishing a weekly teen-oriented magazine, Teen-Zine -- circulation: 2. After earning a degree in journalism from the University of Southern Mississippi, he became the medical reporter and teen board coordinator for the Hattiesburg (Miss.) American, a Gannett newspaper. Eight months later, with visions of Elsa dancing in his head, he applied for the fashion writer position at the Tulsa World, where he began working on Aug. 3, 1998. He is now a general assignment reporter for Scene.

Follow Jason Ashley Wright on Twitter

Subscribe to this blog



Archive

 
Jason Ashley Wright's Blog Archive:

2/2013  1/2013  12/2012  11/2012  10/2012  9/2012  
8/2012  7/2012  6/2012  5/2012  4/2012  3/2012  
2/2012  1/2012  12/2011  11/2011  10/2011  9/2011  
8/2011  7/2011  6/2011  5/2011  4/2011  3/2011  
2/2011  1/2011  12/2010  11/2010  10/2010  9/2010  
8/2010  7/2010  6/2010  5/2010  4/2010  3/2010  
2/2010  1/2010  12/2009  11/2009  10/2009  9/2009  
8/2009  7/2009  6/2009  5/2009  4/2009  3/2009  
2/2009  1/2009  12/2008  11/2008  10/2008  9/2008  
8/2008  7/2008  6/2008  5/2008  4/2008  3/2008  
2/2008  1/2008  12/2007  11/2007  10/2007  9/2007  
8/2007  7/2007  6/2007  








Home | Contact Us | Search | Subscribe | Customer Service | About | Advertise | Privacy
Copyright © 2013, World Publishing Co. All rights reserved.