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My bad phone karma
Published: 7/16/2008 2:17 PM
Last Modified: 7/16/2008 2:17 PM

OK, so here's the phonetic breakdown of a call I just answered:

Me: "Tulsa World, this is Jason."

Bizarre Voice: "Hell-OOOO, this is (name omitted to protect the bizarre), and I am CAWL-ling from (public relations firm omitted to protect me from not receiving product samples from them again), and weee wuh wuh-ON-dering wh-ah-t stories you AHHH working on ..."

Me: "Umm ..." At this point, I was thinking it was a practical joke, as she sounded like a bad impersonation of Barbara Walters -- combined with the voice of this guy I met a few years ago who spoke with a British accent, even though he was born and raised in (small, nearby town omitted to protect my butt from gettin' kicked). Anyway, I add, "I'm working on back-to-school stuff right now."

BV: "Ooooh ... Well, th-UNK you f-UH-or your time," or something innocuous that red-flagged her lack of interest.

Yeah, I had no point to that, just thought it was entertaining. Did I mention earlier that I'm bored? Whatever, that went better than the voicemail I left for someone named Mia:

Me: "Hi, Mee-uh ... Or is it My-uh? Mee-uh or My-uh? Sorry, I forgot how (name omitted for similar reasons above) pronounced your name. Ha! Umm ... So, if I haven't offended you by now, would you give me a call back," blah, blah, blah. What is it with me and voice mail?

Or phones, period. Last night, I said goodbye to someone on the phone, then started singing loudly to my cat, "Oh, Ali, why do we live in such squalor?" and then something random about toast -- right before looking at my phone to see that I'd never disconnected the phone.

I felt like Naomi Watts in "The Ring" -- you know, after she watched the creepy video, then the phone rings, and you know she doesn't want to pick it up because some supernatural entity with a cold's gonna threaten her with, "Seven days!" Well, that's how I felt when I picked my phone back up and heard "click." I about clicked my pants from embarrassment.

And that's all I have for right now. Hopefully, Mia will call me back. If that turns out to be humiliating, I'll be sure to share.

Peace, love and flushed faces ... xoxo


Reader Comments 2 Total
Banshee (5 years ago)
Ha ha, good one!
Mark (5 years ago)
Why is their no mention of the complete breakdown regarding a US Cellular sales rep and a certain song over the PA? Now, THAT"S phone karma!
2 comments displayed


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Living Wright

While other kids were watching "The Smurfs," Scene Writer Jason Ashley Wright was tuned in to "Style with Elsa Klensch." By fourth grade, he knew he wanted to write, and spent almost three years publishing a weekly teen-oriented magazine, Teen-Zine -- circulation: 2. After earning a degree in journalism from the University of Southern Mississippi, he became the medical reporter and teen board coordinator for the Hattiesburg (Miss.) American, a Gannett newspaper. Eight months later, with visions of Elsa dancing in his head, he applied for the fashion writer position at the Tulsa World, where he began working on Aug. 3, 1998. He is now a general assignment reporter for Scene.

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