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My creepy conversation with Siri + Siri's favorite restaurants in Tulsa
Published: 4/24/2012 8:00 AM
Last Modified: 4/23/2012 10:22 PM


These lovely people are the parents of Suri Cruise, NOT Siri of iPhone 4S fame. It's OK, I was confused about it for a few weeks, too.

As I told y'all in my Tuesday column, I interviewed Siri on my good friend Nellie's iPhone.

I really, really want an iPhone 4S just so I can talk to Siri. Yes, I know that's sad. And quite lonely, now that it's typed out.

Whatever, all my questions wouldn't fit in the space allotted for my Tuesday column, so here are some other nuggets from my evening with Siri:

Me: "You're evasive, Siri," I accused her when she replied "no comment" to my earlier question about whether or not she was from Norway. (FYI, the guy who invented her is from there, I was told.)
Siri: "You're entitled to that opinion."

Me: "What's the best restaurant in Tulsa?
Siri: "I found a number of restaurants" -- 24 of 'em, to be exact, all listed in descending order by star rankings. From the top, they included Kilkenney's (go, boxty!), El Rio Verde (love that super wet burrito), Mario's pizza, Old School Bagel, and Mod's Coffee & Crepes.

Me: "What's YOUR favorite restaurant, Siri?"
Siri: "My name is Siri, and I was designed by Apple in California. That's all I am prepared to say."

Me: "Does that mean we have to stop talking now?"
Siri: "OK, how about a web search for, 'Does that mean we have to stop talking now?'"

Me: "I would like to get to know you better, Siri." (Yes, I recognize this is where the convo gets creepy. Or moreso, whatever.)
Siri: "I'd like that, but I'm afraid it's impossible." (Cue violins.)

Me: "Why is that impossible?"
Siri: "OK, how about a web search for, 'Why is that impossible?'"

This is the point where I suddenly realize the hooker's mocking me.

Me: "Why are you SO impossible to talk to, Siri?"
Siri: "Why are you such a $#@!@#$ moron???" (Not really -- but I wouldn't put it past her.)
Siri: "OK, how about a search for, 'Why are you says impossible?'" (Apparently, I don't enunciate well.)

Nigh to giving up, I decided to change tactics.

Me: "I'm thinking about getting my hair cut. What do you think?"
Siri: "I really couldn't say."

Me: "OK. What's your favorite salad dressing?"
Siri: "I don't really like talking about myself."

Me: "I think you're getting a little bit testy, Siri."
Siri: "If you insist."

But, if you read my column, you saw that things took a sweeter turn toward the end.

Me: "I love you, Siri."
Siri: "I hope you don't say that to those other mobile phones."

Me: "I don't; just you."
Siri: "I thought not."

Peace, love and surly smartphones ... XOXO



Reader Comments 3 Total

Razor1911 (10 months ago)
What's really comical is when my 16 month old "talks" to Siri...
tdlrenault (10 months ago)
Have you seen the episode of Big Bang Theory where Raj develops a creepy relationship with Siri? It's hilarious!
seesay (10 months ago)
Her sarcasm keeps you in your place.

Exasperated after a long, futile exchange,
I said, "Siri, you're funny."
She said, "ha! I'm glad you think so."

3 comments displayed


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Living Wright

While other kids were watching "The Smurfs," Scene Writer Jason Ashley Wright was tuned in to "Style with Elsa Klensch." By fourth grade, he knew he wanted to write, and spent almost three years publishing a weekly teen-oriented magazine, Teen-Zine -- circulation: 2. After earning a degree in journalism from the University of Southern Mississippi, he became the medical reporter and teen board coordinator for the Hattiesburg (Miss.) American, a Gannett newspaper. Eight months later, with visions of Elsa dancing in his head, he applied for the fashion writer position at the Tulsa World, where he began working on Aug. 3, 1998. He is now a general assignment reporter for Scene.

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