By JASON ASHLEY WRIGHT Scene Writer on Jul 23, 2010, at 4:23 PM Updated on 7/23 at 4:23 PM
Here, a wagon similar to the caffeine-free one from which I fell recently.
LIVING WRIGHT
As I confessed in my Tuesday column, I'm a clumsy hooker.
But I'm also nosy, as I want to hear about YOUR most embarrassing ...
Aside from enjoying humorous ones spied on others' automobiles, I'm not a fan of bumper stickers.
I blame my father, ...
During last week's bad weather, when a tornado siren sounded around midnight, I was caught at a midtown QuikTrip.
As ...
Confession: I fell off the caffeine-free wagon. Then, I rolled down a hill into a gutter flowing with espresso and sugar-free syrups. Thankfully, I didn't roll through whipped cream. It spots, ya know.
First of all, let it be known throughout the land and overseas wherever English is understood that I've been a good boy all day long -- oatmeal with blueberries for breakfast, then a lemon juice-drizzled salad of mixed leafy greens topped with fat-free chicken salad and grapes. Tasty, actually.
But 3 p.m. rolled around like a randy milk maiden in hay (great, now I'll have that "12 Days of Christmas" song in my head -- perhaps a different version than what you're used to hearing, sorry), and I craved coffee. And I had to have it, or someone would simply have to die. So I kidnapped a friend, drove to my favorite Starbucks at Utica Square and ordered a venti nonfat, sugar-free vanilla frappucino without the whipped topping.
I didn't even give 'em my name, but when they announced that my nonfat somethin' somethin' was ready, a nice young baristo (the male version of barista, n'est-ce pas, Papi?) called out, "Jason from the newsroom -- thanks for reporting!" And it was written on the side of the cup, which I intend to keep for validation. I blushed, stuck a straw in my somethin' somethin' and went on my merry way. The end. Now, let's U-Haul on to my ...
VICE-O-THE-WEEK: Xtranormal.com
"If you can type, you can make movies," the Web site claims. Sho nuff, a friend of mine made one that was quite clever, so I decided to start making my own -- until the system crashed and, well, I have to start over soon. Do you know what I'm talkin' 'bout, Willis? Maybe you've seen that funny (although F-bomb-filled) parody of the iPhone4 between two little cartoon dudes. Whatever, it's easy as store-bought pie. See for yourself at www.xtranormal.com.
PRAYER REQUEST
I'll be waking up a smidgen after 5 a.m. tomorrow for my third training run for the Route 66 Marathon. Last week, I ran 7.5 miles -- or, actually, 5 miles of the 7.5, walking the other part. It was hotter than a cheap pistol, thank you very much. Still, I probably wasn't hydrated enough; I didn't get much sleep the night before; and what I ate wasn't all that healthy or even enough to fuel me. Lesson learned!
Still, I covet that prayers, sweet reader(s?). So light those candles and rub those rosaries!
Have a fab weekend. And tip your baristo/barista next time you're at Starbucks!
Peace, love and all things venti ... XOXO
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