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New rules for dining out
Published: 7/25/2011 11:26 AM
Last Modified: 7/25/2011 11:26 AM

Rarely will you find a restaurant that requires men to wear ties or jackets anymore.

The rules for dining have changed. Last week on the Today Show, Tim Zagat addressed his 10 new rules of dining etiquette. He says chivalry isn't quite dead, jacket-wearing isn't necessary and texting at the table is always off limits.

Here's what he had to say. What do you think?

The 10 New Rules of Dining Etiquette
By Tim Zagat

1. EQUALITY

Women and men should be treated as equals. Still, a plurality of diners says that men are treated better than women. The explanation given is that men are more likely to pay the bill and tip. How dated can you be? She probably earns more than you.

2. PAYING FOR IT

Whoever initiates a dinner date pays. Long ago, women were handed menus with no prices on them. Nowadays, whoever did the inviting should be expected to pay for the meal, unless you've worked out another arrangement in advance.

3. ORDERING FOOD

Forget gender – people should order when ready. Sorry, Emily Post, but gone are the days when women were expected to go first. Since menus can be long and complex, regardless of your sex it's a courtesy to order first and buy your tablemates a bit more time to decide.

4. HANDHELD VICES

Do not talk, text, tweet, e-mail or surf the web at table. It's rude, say 63 percent of diners. A whopping 73 percent advise turning off ringers. If you have urgent business to deal with, step away from the table briefly to handle matters.

5. KIDS, KIDS, KIDS

It's fine to bring children to dinner in most restaurants. But don't do it at places where they'd elevate the decibel level or that are meant to be romantic. Zagat surveyors split over the age at which children should be allowed: 38 percent say from birth while the same percent argues five years or older. Tellingly, 61% believe restaurants should be able to ban children.

6. DRESSING DOWN OR UP

Dress casually. This is known as the “Los Angelization of dining.” Hardly any restaurants require ties and jackets anymore. Even the tiny minority that do won't object if you put your jacket over the back of the chair. About the only rule left is “don’t be a slob.” Alternatively, you may want to “dress up” to impress your companion.

7. SERIOUS RESERVATIONS

Honor your restaurant reservations or cancel them on time. People should treat dining reservations as the important commitments they are. Holding an empty table for a no-show does real damage to a restaurant. If you make reservations and fail to cancel in advance, you'll deservedly become persona non grata at the restaurant.

8. OK, NOW GET OUT

Don't overstay your welcome at a busy restaurant. To clarify: Take your time and enjoy your food, wine, conversation and after-dinner treats. Nobody should ever feel rushed. But interestingly, 60 percent of Zagat surveyors nationally support restaurants setting time limits on tables during peak hours. Remember, next time you may be the one waiting in line.

9. LONG LIVE CHIVALRY

Men go through doors first, and then hold them open for women. We know, we know. This is the one rule of chivalry that will never die, even if it's been updated (men used to allow women to go first). Bottom line: two people can't go through a door at the same time. So to the women out there who find this notion antiquated, please, humor these poor men. Let them get the door – they'll let you get the bill or walk on the outside once out on the street.

10. REMEMBER YOU'RE THE CUSTOMER.

And the customer is always right. Too often customers feel they are being judged by the wait staff. That's exactly wrong. Short of berating the waiter, you should expect to receive hospitable, efficient service and good food at any restaurant. If that doesn't happen, take your money elsewhere and tell the next 10 people that you meet.


Reader Comments 1 Total
Loophole (last year)
Two pet peeves: People who think casual looks like someone who just took a break from yardwork to eat, and people who want to be seen by all who are waiting in line, reading the paper or some magazine after they have finished the meal. I'm not impressed by either.
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Food Writer Nicole Marshall Middleton joined the Tulsa World in May 1993 after graduating from Oklahoma State University. She has covered crime, city government and general assignment beats during that time - but mostly crime. But when she isn’t at work, Nicole is a devoted food hobbyist. She enjoys meal planning and cooking with her husband, Steve, every day of the week and on holidays it’s a family affair. When the opportunity to become the food writer at the Tulsa World presented itself in the summer of 2011, Nicole jumped at it. She is excited to explore a new side of Tulsa and make the transition from crime to cuisine. .

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