The Academy Awards, Hollywood's biggest night, a grand celebration of the year's best on film. Or, as Johnny Carson put it 30 years ago (and so little has changed), "Two hours of sparkling entertainment, spread out over a four-hour show."
The blow-by-blow of the show:
7:31 p.m.: Oh no. Hugh Jackman is not a stand-up. Three jokes in, bland bunk, surely this isn't what the Oscar people hired Jackman for.
7:38 p.m.: After a rousing production number, riffing on the best picture nominees (and riffing on Billy Crystal) with comedy and choreography (there's a reason that song-and-dance man Jackman hosts the Tonys), is it too early to say that Jackman has already secured a return visit to the hosting podium? I don't think so.
7:39 p.m.: Now Jackman hits with comedy, too, climbing down to the front row to welcome Mickey Rourke and inviting him to say whatever he wants if he wins, as they've implemented a 20-minute delay just for him (anyone who saw his Saturday night acceptance speech at the Independent Spirit Awards witnessed a potential preview of Rourke unedited: profane, moving and cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs all at the same time).
7:47 p.m.: Five former supporting actress winners are trotted out, from the 1950s (Eva Marie Saint) to the newest (Tilda Swinton from last year), each one awkwardly detailing one of this year's five supporting actress nominees, seemingly in their own words. It's sometimes clunky, sometimes touching and too long a segment. It's saved only by the fact that a deserving Penelope Cruz wins for her fiery role in "Vicky Cristina Barcelona." That spoils my upset pick from Friday's paper, so I'm 0-for-1.
8:08 p.m.: Jennifer Aniston is presenting an award with Jack Black, so Oscar has done its best casting here for the gossip-hungry crowd: As Black talks about animated films, cameras twice easily find Angelina Jolie on the front row, his "Kung Fu Panda" co-star; but come on, these are intended to be reaction shots of Brangelina at Aniston looking fabulous on stage just a few feet from them. We're all in on the gag.
