Parents will need to speak to children about today's Connecticut shooting
Parents are taking off a bit early today, rushing to schools and homes to hug their kids.
Just as we think the bar cannot be raised on senseless violence, a gunman opens fire at a
Connecticut elementary killing about 30, mostly children.
It’s painful on so many levels.
Many of us are simply absorbing it all, hoping this feeling of helplessness finds meaning.
As I get ready to embrace my children as soon as possible, I know my 8-year-old son will have questions.
He knows I work in news and has become a news hound in the past year.
My daughter in kindergarten overhears bits and pieces from the world I try so hard to shield her from.
Tonight, they will know something bad happened.
They will have questions.
They will need reassurance.
I hope I don’t break down.
A friend of mine shared a
PBS piece that helps parents navigate this minefield.
Here are the basics:
•Find out what the child knows first.
•Explain simply, give enough information they need so it makes sense to them.
•Acknowledge their feelings and provide comfort.
•Offer reassurance by giving specific examples (it happened far away) or through actions (lock a door).
•Tailor answers to the child’s age.
The presidentof the Tulsa Council of Parent Teacher Associations, Tracye Love, sent a link from a
Minnesota-based family resources group for tips on speaking to kids about violence against children.
The highlights are:
•Be honest about the situation. Explain scary things happened to kids once in awhile, but most children live everyday without harm.
•Find out what children know and give them the facts.
•Limit the amount of exposure to violent movies, videos, or computer games. The impact of violence for children is cumulative.
•Understand that children of different ages react differently.
Younger children may show more separation anxiety when their parents leave them at school. Older children may present a rough exterior or act out aggressive behavior.
•Provide extra emotional support.
Review safety precautions and practice routines of going to and from school with them. Teach your children that they should go to an adult they trust if they feel threatened in any situation.
•Avoid infecting your children's lives with your own anxiety.
•Be aware of other areas of children's lives that may make them especially vulnerable to fears regarding violence against children.
Children who have experienced a traumatic incident in the past, children who are grieving a personal tragedy, and children who are ill are more susceptible to anxiety regarding other events.
•Children need personal reassurance.
Tell them what you are doing to ensure their safety, tell your children what their child-care provider or teacher is doing to maintain safety and tell children what they can do to enhance their own safety.
•Maintain normal routines for eating, sleeping, and play.
