Scene - Blogs - Perhaps Caramel Infidel was already taken

Perhaps "Caramel Infidel" was already taken ...
Published: 3/24/2010 2:54 PM
Last Modified: 3/24/2010 2:54 PM

Jesse "Vanilli Gorilli" James

So Playgirl is offering Jesse James -- you know, Sandra Bullock's husband making tabloid news lately -- $500,000 to pose nekkid, according to Life & Style Weekly magazine.

"Jesse James was recently dubbed the 'Vanilla Gorilla' by his mistress Michelle 'Bombshell' McGee because of the supposed size of his" you-know-what, L&S reported in the email they JUST sent me. And only me, don'tcha know. Anyway, "Now Playgirl magazine wants to see the proof!" With an exclamation point, appropriately enough.

Oooh, it gets better, depending on your definition of better: "'We'd want him to pose in a Coney Island freak show setting. It would be a whole circus-themed shoot, complete with tattooed women and sword swallowers!'" L&S quoted Playgirl spokesman Daniel Nardicio as saying. Apparently, Playgirl asked Jon Gosselin to bare all for $20,000. Based on the difference in pay, maybe they're thinking the name "Vienna" for Jon.

In other news, I'm depressed -- or, as FGP just put it, "Downey Clowney" -- so haven't felt like blogging. OK, so why does everyone today have a nickname? And was Vanilla G's mistress' name self-imposed? Kinda haughty. Guess "Whore" was spoken for.

But back to me. Enough with the blue mood, I'm ready to get over myself and accomplish s'more goals by the end of April. A recent unhappy incident prompted me to rethink my fitness plan, but I may be remedying that soon depending on the financial gods. Could that sentence be any more vague?

OK, not gonna give a rundown of food intake since last we spoke, as it's been forever and a day. Let's just say I'm giving it 'til sundown to run myself out of Martyrdom and retreat to some happier, more productive place. Playa del Carmen would be nice, but I imagine it'll have to be somewhere more imaginary.

Peace, love and flavored primates ... XOXO

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C SQUARED (3 years ago)

zoo anatomy 101 if I were to get literal here and I was MR Jesse,I would much rather have "horse",or some other nickname attached to my member,gorilla being a little further from the top of the list,dont believe me google it lol

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Living Wright

While other kids were watching "The Smurfs," Scene Writer Jason Ashley Wright was tuned in to "Style with Elsa Klensch." By fourth grade, he knew he wanted to write, and spent almost three years publishing a weekly teen-oriented magazine, Teen-Zine -- circulation: 2. After earning a degree in journalism from the University of Southern Mississippi, he became the medical reporter and teen board coordinator for the Hattiesburg (Miss.) American, a Gannett newspaper. Eight months later, with visions of Elsa dancing in his head, he applied for the fashion writer position at the Tulsa World, where he began working on Aug. 3, 1998. He is now a general assignment reporter for Scene.

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Past Articles By Jason Ashley Wright

2/17/2013		Destination downtown
2/14/2013		Knowledge is key in Alzheimer's care
2/14/2013		Living Wright: On a roll again
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2/7/2013		Fundraiser, camp benefit kids with heart problems
2/7/2013		Living Wright: Tulsa Flea market trip yields hidden treasures
2/7/2013		Mardi Gras popularity grows as celebrations expand in Tulsa
2/5/2013		Jason Ashley Wright: Another suicide shocks, for now
2/4/2013		Eagle Scouts

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