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Pledging allegiance to pedicures
Published: 5/11/2009 2:52 PM
Last Modified: 5/11/2009 2:52 PM

That's right, it's time again for the open-toed shoe pledge, which many of y'all probably get via email at least once or thrice every spring.

In case you haven't seen it or just need a reminder, here's the pledge I received -- per my promise in Tuesday's pedicure story.

Not sure where this originated -- even checked with Snopes.com, and all it had was the pledge, along with reader commentary.

So, from wherever sandal-lovin' place this hails, here's the pledge ...

Open-Toed Shoe Pledge

All right ladies, it's that time of year once again. I think we need to be reminded of a few things. So, my sisters, PLEASE raise your big toes and repeat after me …

As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow these rules when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.

I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather, I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat, and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers, and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking; and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $20 or $25 and worth EVERY penny).

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear, as nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

Don't keep this is to yourself – pass it on to other sisters.

Peace, love and sandal weather ... xoxo

Reader Comments

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Mar (4 years ago)

What do you know Jim? You are a man and probably don't wear sandals. Actually I don't care for sandals on adult men, sorry.

I think it is great advice to women as I've seen some disgusting, ugly, ill-kept feet on women wearing sandals....gross!

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Living Wright

While other kids were watching "The Smurfs," Scene Writer Jason Ashley Wright was tuned in to "Style with Elsa Klensch." By fourth grade, he knew he wanted to write, and spent almost three years publishing a weekly teen-oriented magazine, Teen-Zine -- circulation: 2. After earning a degree in journalism from the University of Southern Mississippi, he became the medical reporter and teen board coordinator for the Hattiesburg (Miss.) American, a Gannett newspaper. Eight months later, with visions of Elsa dancing in his head, he applied for the fashion writer position at the Tulsa World, where he began working on Aug. 3, 1998. He is now a general assignment reporter for Scene.

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