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Pone star
Published: 2/25/2010 4:52 PM
Last Modified: 2/25/2010 4:52 PM


It's all pretty and innocent-looking until you grind it up, slap it in the oven and melt butter on it.

Sometimes I think I'm a little happier whilst in crisis.

Now, when I say "crisis," I mean the most innocuous, non-TV-news-making variety that pretty much only effects me vs. anyone else on Earth. That little round thing circling my head on occasion? Yeah, that's the planet -- caught, perhaps, in the vast gravitational pull of my own self-absorption.

Anyhoo, long story short, I've been feeling sick since Sunday and was most definitely ill-ish Tuesday. And on top of all that, I thought I electrocuted Brad. Plugged him in to my computer (he's my iPhone, for those who don't read my Tuesday column) and, well, he locked up for hours. Somewhat less than thrilled, I left work and visited the AT&T shop, where this really nice young man advised me to go to the Apple store at Woodland Hills -- again, less than thrilled. So I used AT&T's phone to make an appointment (they had a cancellation and were able to squeeze me in, God love and keep 'em) for 8:45 p.m.

On a side note, Woodland Hills is NOT a place you want to visit late on a week night when you're an insecure gay man in your 30s. Just sayin'.

Blah, blah, blah, another nice young man (everyone in the entire mall was younger than me -- no lie, I took a poll) hooked Brad up to a computer and, several minutes later, resuscitated him. Sorta. ALL of my contacts were gone, along with 800-plus songs, photos from Christmas, my beloved Words with Friends and Facebook apps -- gone, gone, gone. It was week's WORST gloom-despair-and-agony-on-me moment. (Apparently, I just had to plug it back up to my computer the next day, and everything was hunky-dorian-gray -- which did happen, thankfully.)

So, feeling dramatic, I ingratiated myself upon Lord V's company. I forgot the chain of events that led to this BRILLIANT decision, but we made cornbread with cheese in it -- and I ate half the pone. Y'all call 'em pones, right? Whatever, it was delicious, and the day's drama totally made it OK.

But in the harsh light of Wednesday morning, when I opted out of going to the gym (no songs, thanks to Brad's near-death experience -- no way I'm working out to the sound of my own grunting via treadmill), I realized I've fallen off the wagon BIG TIME this week. Had to make up for it on Wednesday:

BREAKFAST: Oatmeal with blueberries.
A.M. SNACK: Banana (I think -- it's kinda hazy)
LUNCH: Turkey sandwich on whole wheat with Provolone cheese, light mayo and spicey mustard, all preceded by a simple salad of spinach and other weed-like greens with a non-fat organic red bell pepper vinaigrette.
P.M. SNACK: 1/4 cups almonds
DINNER: Grilled tilapia with a salad or Romaine lettuce, shredded carrots, water chestnuts and a non-organic red bell pepper vinaigrette (what's my deal with RBPV?), as well as some brown whole grain rice with veggies. Quite nice, actually.

Ran nearly five miles at Gymboree today -- in my Transformers T-shirt. Apparently, it's time to do laundry, as tomorrow's gym shirt (should I choose to accept the mission) will either be a green Lil' Rascals shirt with Spanky on it, plus the word "STUD"; or a beige-y shirt with the silhouette of a naked woman planting a flower. I think I'll opt for the latter and look like a mud flap vs. the former in case people don't get Spanky's irony.

That's enough, my carpal tunnel's acting up.

Peace, love and corn meal dreams ... XOXO


Reader Comments 1 Total
(3 years ago)
Jason, maybe you should take some snack food to Lord V's? Or have him come to your house, or don't go, or meet somewhere else.... just sayin..... Since I'm not working out I am exercising vicariously through you. So I don't want you to eat then feel so bad about yourself that you make an offering to the Porcelain God. I know we can do this!

Your fan
Julie Pappano

You are adorable as you are BTW
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Living Wright

While other kids were watching "The Smurfs," Scene Writer Jason Ashley Wright was tuned in to "Style with Elsa Klensch." By fourth grade, he knew he wanted to write, and spent almost three years publishing a weekly teen-oriented magazine, Teen-Zine -- circulation: 2. After earning a degree in journalism from the University of Southern Mississippi, he became the medical reporter and teen board coordinator for the Hattiesburg (Miss.) American, a Gannett newspaper. Eight months later, with visions of Elsa dancing in his head, he applied for the fashion writer position at the Tulsa World, where he began working on Aug. 3, 1998. He is now a general assignment reporter for Scene.

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