A number of readers emailed me about Tuesday's column on whether or not guys should be standing up for ladies when they come and go from the table. Here are some of my favorites -- anonymous, of course.
Words from the ladies:
"Women do appreciate the man's standing when the woman approaches his table. Chivalry may be old-fashioned, but most women appreciate it. Women need to take their turns opening doors for women and men, too."
"I don't remember the last time a man stood up when I walked up to a table. How charming that would be."
"I am 29 and have only once had a man half-stand at the table ... and ... it did make me feel nice ... even kind of special. I honestly never even knew men did that until back a few years ago ... If I now were to go on a date, and a guy did that, it would definitely bring him up a notch in my book. However, honestly, if he didn't do it, it wouldn't make a difference to me. ... However, I would always expect a man to open a door for me. That chivalry has not died -- yet." Amen, Girlfriend! (Note to other women: It should be a big ol' red flag if a guy doesn't open doors for you on the first date. Make a mental note.)
"I think you should stand. It seems to me that manners are becoming a thing of the past with most folks. To see someone use them is quite refreshing, and reassuring that chivalry and manners have not been lost."
And here's what the gentlemen had to say:
"I think your decision to sit and your comments on holding a door indicate the changes in society that are happening today. (I stand for my wife and all of our female friends when they rejoin our table). I see a people today that will go in a door and let it close on the people behind them, talk on a phone when doing business in a bank or other places, cut people off in traffic, can't spell because of text messaging and the spell checker, and are teaching these same values to their children. I hope you change your mind and stand for the ladies."
"Stand when a woman comes to or leaves the table. Open the door for all women. If they don't say thank you, they weren't raised right, and there's nothing you can do to undo. If the table thing makes you feel uncomfortable, conceal a small container of soup on your person, and, if someone stares at you as you rise, spill the soup on your lap and slap furiously at it. Everyone understands that, and you probably need some new pants anyway."
Thank y'all for your comments -- and the excellent reminder that chivalry is by no means dead. So hold those doors open, guys, and stand up for the ladies. They may not expect it from you or any guy this day and time -- but that's what makes it all the more wonderful.
Peace, love and manners ... xoxo
