Scene - Blogs - Todays altercation at Subway

Today's altercation at Subway
Published: 10/5/2011 3:06 PM
Last Modified: 10/5/2011 3:06 PM

This man looks NOTHING like the one I saw at Subway, but let's just go with it for now.

So I just ran across the street to grab a quick lunch (got a turkey sandwich and NO cookies, thank you), and stood in line behind a guy who was, politely put, quite loud and slightly obnoxious.

He didn't seem drunk or high, as he rather coherently expressed his desire for extra jalapenos, as long as they didn't cost extra, and that jalapenos were apparently more palatable than habaneros, which were too hot for him. So I tried to keep in mind he may be "touched," as my grandmother would say. She would also say "one brick short of a load," but we'll go with touched, which seems slightly more polite.

Anyway, one of the annoying things he did upon paying for his combo meal, which included a drink, was say, "Where's my cup? My cup? My CUP? MY CUP?" like 18 times (probably just three, but whatever). The Subway ladies handled him very well, even turning the short cup rant into a joke when they handed one to him, laughing. He laughed back, which was a good sign because he carried a cane, which could've been a deadly(ish) weapon.

So I do my usual spinach-tomatoes-cucumber-bell pepper speech, pay for my meal and, to the kind young lady at the cash register, say, "I hope the rest of your day is free of people screaming, 'Cup! Cup! Cup!' at you," to which she smiled and slightly giggled.

That's when I turned around to see the man standing behind me, wielding his cane, chanting "DIE! DIE! DIE!!!"

OK, not really. But he was sitting just a few feet away, eating his jalapeno sandwich -- hopefully ignorant of my social faux pas.

Obviously, this was a reminder that I need to pause before I say something slightly snarky about someone (which is a difficult thing to say three times fast, if you haven't tried it). Snarky things are best left to either ourselves or our best friends in a car that's already running, in case we need to drive off quickly.

So be sweet out there! And mind men with canes demanding cups.

Peace, love and jalapenos ... XOXO

Reader Comments

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220668 (last year)

Snarky, that's a good word. Descriptive and yet polite under the circumstances.

Brad (last year)

I'm sorry I scared you, Jason.

-Brad

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Living Wright

While other kids were watching "The Smurfs," Scene Writer Jason Ashley Wright was tuned in to "Style with Elsa Klensch." By fourth grade, he knew he wanted to write, and spent almost three years publishing a weekly teen-oriented magazine, Teen-Zine -- circulation: 2. After earning a degree in journalism from the University of Southern Mississippi, he became the medical reporter and teen board coordinator for the Hattiesburg (Miss.) American, a Gannett newspaper. Eight months later, with visions of Elsa dancing in his head, he applied for the fashion writer position at the Tulsa World, where he began working on Aug. 3, 1998. He is now a general assignment reporter for Scene.

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