Scene - Blogs - Worst movies of 2012 My top10

Worst movies of 2012: My top-10
Published: 12/28/2012 5:46 PM
Last Modified: 12/28/2012 5:46 PM

No. 1: The Watch

No. 2: That's My Boy

No. 3: Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

These are the worst of the worst, the cinematic offenders of 2012 that you are advised to avoid at all costs:

1. The Watch
I don't know who said "Let's get Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn together for a science-fiction comedy full of phallic jokes in which they fight off aliens in their neighborhood," but those people need to be abducted by aliens and probed.

2. That's My Boy
"That's My Boy" is disgusting, stupid, offensive and unfunny, which is to say that it's an Adam Sandler movie. Sandler must be stopped, and only you, the audience, can end his reign of terror.

3. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
Nicolas Cage's version of comic-book superhero "Ghost Rider" rumbles down the highway on a fiery motorcycle, himself a blazing skeleton. Beyond the flames, he appears to be brainless and gutless, lacking even a funny bone. So is this unneeded sequel.

4. Man on a Ledge
Note to filmmakers: When you have a star like Sam Worthington who has presence, especially in his action skills and interactions with other actors, don't stick him on a 21st-floor ledge. Not that the rest of this turkey is compelling, or coherent, for that matter.

5. Battleship
This poster-child for the big, dumb, loud summer blockbuster destroys aircraft carriers, brain cells and Taylor Kitsch's chances of headlining another $200 million movie in his career. Just sink this "Battleship."

6. Darling Companion
Diane Keaton in Diane Keaton mode, fidgety and making funny noises with her mouth. She plays a woman who might love a dog more than her husband (Kevin Kline, looking as embalmed as the movie). Lawrence Kasdan's story flops from the start, and it can't get back up.

7. Anna Karenina
Tolstoy's epic novel, conceived as a film vehicle for Keira Knightley to make more ostentatious costume changes than Cher performing in concert with Beyonce. She also appears as the most stunningly beautiful but gravely ill woman since Ali MacGraw in "Love Story."

8. Thunderstruck
To make a family sports fantasy starring the Oklahoma City Thunder's Kevin Durant, the director of past "worst movie of the year" candidates "Deck the Halls" and "Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son" was hired. Well ... this filmmaker is consistent.

9. Project X
This house party-from-hell flick wants to be something like "Superbad" meets "Jackass" meets "Girls Gone Wild," but without the sweetness. Meant to be a comedy, but with no laughs beyond cringe-inducing "That's so wrong" moments. Juvenile in the worst way.

10. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
The lead actor has all the charisma of one of those animatronic figures in Disney's Hall of Presidents. A good degree of disappointment stems from the fact that the title alone seemed to promise something amusing, but this movie simply sucks.

Reader Comments

Show: Newest First

Learn About Our Comment Policy

To post comments on tulsaworld.com, you must be an active Tulsa World print or digital subscriber and signed into your account.

To sign in to your account, go to tulsaworld.com/signin.
To activate your print subscription for unlimited digital access and to post comments, go to tulsaworld.com/activate.
To purchase a subscription, go to tulsaworld.com/subscribe.

I See Movies for Free

“I was born a poor, black child” … not me, actually, but Steve Martin’s character in the “The Jerk.” That absurd opening line is just one of the absurd number of film facts, quotes and minutiae contained in movie critic Michael Smith’s brain, at his disposal to toss out on a moment’s notice. It’s a key requirement as Tulsa World film critic to know these things. Michael learned a few other life facts along the way (seven years as a Crystal’s Pizza & Spaghetti manager) before attempting journalism and joining the Tulsa World in 1996, where he’s covered everything from a school shooting in Fort Gibson to a tornado in Stroud to witnessing an execution. A little community theater coverage was sprinkled in there, too. Movies engender many of his happiest memories, from standing in line for “Star Wars” and “Grease” at the Southroads Cinema to the James Bond and Pink Panther movies that always premiered at the enormous Continental Theater.

Follow Michael Smith on Twitter

Subscribe to this blog

Archive

Past Articles By Michael Smith

2/16/2013		Broken Arrow movie theater moves to discount showings
2/15/2013		Review: 'Amour'
2/15/2013		Review: 'A Good Day to Die Hard'
2/15/2013		Review: 'Beautiful Creatures'
2/14/2013		Review: 'Quartet'
2/14/2013		Shirley MacLaine to speak at Osage Casino
2/14/2013		Weekly rewind: February 14
2/14/2013		REVIEW: 'Beautiful Creatures'
2/12/2013		Belgian best picture hopeful 'Amour' opens in Tulsa on Friday
2/10/2013		'Die Hard' marathon at AMC Southroads on Wednesday ends with new film
2/9/2013		Review: 'Identity Thief' a stupid movie from stupid idea
2/8/2013		Oscar audit: Critics choices for best picture hold up over time

Michael Smith's Blog Archive:

2/2013	1/2013	12/2012	11/2012	10/2012	9/2012
8/2012	7/2012	6/2012	5/2012	4/2012	3/2012
2/2012	1/2012	12/2011	11/2011	10/2011	9/2011
8/2011	7/2011	6/2011	5/2011	4/2011	3/2011
2/2011	1/2011	12/2010	11/2010	10/2010	9/2010
8/2010	7/2010	6/2010	5/2010	4/2010	3/2010
2/2010	1/2010	12/2009	11/2009	10/2009	9/2009
8/2009	7/2009	6/2009	5/2009	4/2009	3/2009
2/2009	1/2009	12/2008	11/2008	10/2008	9/2008
8/2008	7/2008	6/2008	5/2008	4/2008	3/2008
2/2008	1/2008	12/2007	11/2007	10/2007	9/2007
8/2007	7/2007	6/2007

michaelsmithTW
michaelsmithTW

Join the conversation

Your bookmark will appear on your Profile page. Please give it a title, and short description so that visitors to your page will understand where the bookmark leads.
Bookmark Title :

Bookmark Text :