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Yankee Pot Roast: The One-Act Play

By WAYNE GREENE Senior Writer on Feb 23, 2010, at 9:11 AM  Updated on 2/23 at 9:11 AM



WAYNE'S WORLD

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Coworkers have been riding me all day that my American history quiz on Monday’s front page was too hard.

At first, ...

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Wayne Greene

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Blondie.20100221_small.gif


I'm imagining a completely fictional scene.

Setting: a seedy bar, lots of smoke. Dean sits at the bar nursing a beer. A large man in a fedora comes into the bar and sits beside him.

The man: Hey, Dean.

Dean: Evening, Rocky.

Rocky: We's got some business to transact, yous and I.

Dean: I know. I need to talk to you about that.

Rocky: Talks cheap. Yous owe me three large on the Super Bowl. Let's sees some green.

Dean: Well, you see, I don't have it… the recession, you know… and my syndicate says…
(At the mention of the word syndicate Rocky rises and looms over Dean menacingly.)

Rocky: I's don't like that word.

Dean: Sorry! Sorry! I mean the people who syndicate me. (Rocky backs away, only slightly less menacingly.)

Rocky: Watch what yous saying. Now where's my money.

Dean: That's the thing. I ... don't have it.

Rocky: That's gonna be tough on you. (He doubles up his fists.)

Dean: No, wait. Surely there's some way we can work this out … you know … like last time.

Rocky: You mean you can accommodate me.

Dean: That's right. Whatever you want.

Rocky (thinking): OK … but this time I wants Yankee Pot Roast, and I wants it in there five times.

Dean: Five times! That's crazy.

Rocky: I says five times! (Slamming his fist on the bar.)

Dean: OK! OK! Ease up. I don't know how I'll do it, but Yankee Pot Roast it is.

Rocky: Five times!

Dean: Yeah! Yeah! Five times.
WAYNE'S WORLD

OK, OK: Here's an easier American history quiz

Coworkers have been riding me all day that my American history quiz on Monday’s front page was too hard.

At first, ...

How time will not heal old wounds

Healing historic injustices – whether they are five years old or 5,000 – starts with acknowledging them, a retired diplomat ...

Good news from the recession? Fewer homes hitting property tax cap

The number of local homeowners who see their property tax assessments go up 5 percent automatically every year is decreasing, ...

CONTACT THE BLOGGER

Wayne Greene

918-581-8308
Email

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Graduation

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