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'Your mama's so fat, she sells shade.'
Published: 11/18/2011 7:00 AM
Last Modified: 11/17/2011 7:19 PM


"Insults Every Man Should Know" ($9.95, Quirk). Word to your mama.

I'm not sure when it started, but Lord V and I have been saying "yo mama" to one another for years.

This probably isn't the proper thing a fully sane person would admit in a work-related blog, but "yo mama" is probably the first thing either one of us will say when the other asks almost any question, especially "What did you say?" or "What are you doing?"

So I can't WAIT to show him "Insults Every Man Should Know" ($9.95, Quirk), edited by author Nick "The Damned Highway" Mamatas.

Pocket-sized (at least if you're used to carrying a flask), "Insults" may be the most useful little book that might also get you killed, depending on how you wield it.

Included in the book are quotes for insulting someone's intelligence (such as, "You're so dense, light bends around you"), appearance ("Wow, you look like a movie star ... specifically, Gollum."), sexual prowess and, of course, yo mama or other members of yo family.

My favorite: "Your mama's so stupid, she got hit once by a parked car." It's funny because it happened to me once. Have the chipped front tooth to prove it.

Anyhoo, the book gives up insults throughout history, at the office and on game day, as well as insulting gestures, backhanded compliments, comebacks, insults between writers, obscure insults and insults from around the world -- i.e., "Hab Sosli Quch!" which is Klingon for "Yo mama has a smooth forehead!"

This has stocking stuffer written all over it, right? So does yo mama.

Peace, love and smooth foreheads ... XOXO


Reader Comments 1 Total
Brad (last year)
yo mama!
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Living Wright

While other kids were watching "The Smurfs," Scene Writer Jason Ashley Wright was tuned in to "Style with Elsa Klensch." By fourth grade, he knew he wanted to write, and spent almost three years publishing a weekly teen-oriented magazine, Teen-Zine -- circulation: 2. After earning a degree in journalism from the University of Southern Mississippi, he became the medical reporter and teen board coordinator for the Hattiesburg (Miss.) American, a Gannett newspaper. Eight months later, with visions of Elsa dancing in his head, he applied for the fashion writer position at the Tulsa World, where he began working on Aug. 3, 1998. He is now a general assignment reporter for Scene.

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