By JASON ASHLEY WRIGHT Scene Writer on Aug 9, 2011, at 3:57 PM Updated on 8/09 at 3:57 PM
I didn't want to gross y'all out with a picture of my purple spot, so I found this one instead. At the rate my spot's growing, this could be me -- minus the bright-white smile -- by Friday.
LIVING WRIGHT
As I confessed in my Tuesday column, I'm a clumsy hooker.
But I'm also nosy, as I want to hear about YOUR most embarrassing ...
Aside from enjoying humorous ones spied on others' automobiles, I'm not a fan of bumper stickers.
I blame my father, ...
During last week's bad weather, when a tornado siren sounded around midnight, I was caught at a midtown QuikTrip.
As ...
I've never been a fan of purple.
"The Color Purple?" Love it. Just typing that sentence makes me wanna sing "Miss Celie's Blues."
And purple's pretty on other people. And flowers. Even eggplant dishes. But purple just ain't my shade -- or so I had thought so for years.
Now, I'm afraid, it is my shade. First, a rather literal back story: Last Monday, I felt something on the right side of my lower back. After feeling something, I contorted myself in front of a mirror to see a quarter-sized spot with four red dots around it. Spider bite? Mosquito? Another rogue June bug wanting to exact revenge for the death of his/her kin I'd killed via Right Guard asphyxiation earlier that summer? My mind reeled with horror fantasies.
But I calmed down, went to work and showed it to a couple of friends who said it didn't look like a bite. So I popped a Benadryl and went on my way.
Fast forward to Sunday, when I was feeling puny, and the spot was now the size of a baseball and purple. But in all those seven days, it never itched, never hurt.
My doctor's office got me in at 2:30 p.m. Monday, and neither she nor her physician's assistant could tell me what it was (although they kept mentioning the word "tick"). Just have a low-grade fever. So they referred me to a dermatologist, who'll see my Friday morning.
At least now I know why I've felt kinda puny the past week, as fevers aren't known for making you feel good, despite what Kylie Minogue sang about on her album.
As long as I'm not purple from head to toe by the weekend, I'm happy. Well, alive and not purple. In that order. Keep your fingers crossed and candles lit, will ya?
Peace, love and mystery maladies ... XOXO
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