By JASON ASHLEY WRIGHT Scene Writer on Jan 8, 2010, at 3:55 PM Updated on 1/08 at 3:55 PM
LIVING WRIGHT
As I confessed in my Tuesday column, I'm a clumsy hooker.
But I'm also nosy, as I want to hear about YOUR most embarrassing ...
Aside from enjoying humorous ones spied on others' automobiles, I'm not a fan of bumper stickers.
I blame my father, ...
During last week's bad weather, when a tornado siren sounded around midnight, I was caught at a midtown QuikTrip.
As ...
I ate almost HALF of one of these last night, plus butter. The latter would've come in handy three hours earlier when trying on my now-unfitting work-out clothes -- which begat the need for cornbread, actually. Back to square one ...
A really nice but complete stranger in front of whom I had a nervous breakdown two-plus years ago just asked me to be his friend on Facebook.
Usually, when I get a friend request, I write something like, "Hi,
... Thanks for the friend request! Hope you have an awesome day ... j.a.w." -- or something extraordinarly similar. Anyway, he responded and mentioned that fateful day I came into his cell phone store.
In an appropriate nutshell, Ex called me at work Monday to relay some heart-breaking news, I left to go change the locks, then went to Stylist's house for the evening before returning home to bed -- no tears, no gnashing of teeth, no glass thrown at portraits in Twelve Oaks. But I ventured out in public the following afternoon to buy a new phone and fell apart at US Cellular. My newest Facebook friend was quite nice back then, so I was more than happy to accept his request.
However, if I could go back in time, I would definitely change practically everything about how I handled that day, as well as most that followed. That said, I'd also travel back 24 hours and change how my Thursday evening went down.
The day started out well:
Breakfast -- 1/2 cup oatmeal with 1/2 cup blueberries, 1/4 cup almonds and organic fat-free milk
11 a.m. -- banana
Lunch -- turkey sandwich on wheat bread with spicy mustard and a light application of low-fat mayo, plus 1 cup of baby carrots
3 p.m.: 2 cups Smart Balance Smart Movie-Style microwave popcorn (thanks, FGP!)
OK, so I was supposed to work out last night, right? Left work, got home and started trying on ALL my work-out stuff -- NOTHING FIT. NOTHING! Well, except one pair of XL track pants that sound like someone's walking beside me popping bubble wrap whenever I walk. Thankfully, those were too baggy. My Nike running shirt, though? It's suddenly a crop-top.
Thoroughly ticked off at myself for getting fat again for the umpteenth time, I change into something semi-comfortable and go to Blockbuster, then to Stylist's house to join him and E for our weekly Thursday movie night -- and, of course, hoggery. One of the offerings was cornbread with a layer of jalapenos and cheese in the middle, which clearly begged for a stick of butter to be melted on top. Two big chunks of that preceded the sizeable fudge brownie I buried under two scoops of French vanilla ice cream.
Back to square one, it seems. Ugh ... But Friday's a new day, and I have a $50 gift card I'm gonna use at Old Navy for some large-sized work-out apparel, which I intend to burn in an invitation only bonfire on March 31.
Hopefully, on Monday, I'll have some positive news to relay regarding my new healthy lifestyle thing. No, wait -- make that I WILL have positive news to share. Yes, will. I have a strong one when I put my mind to it -- it's just a matter of finding my mind sometimes, as I often misplace it.
Peace, love and happy weekend ... xoxo
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