This the guilt monster's third appearance, after the breastfeding entry and the return-to-work entry. Even if it doesn't show up in every entry, the guilt monster definitely shows up every day in a parent's life. (Drawn by Althea Peterson)
Irony: In order to return to work, you put your child in daycare. However, daycares are easy places for young kids to catch fevers, colds, and add some strep to their throat. Thus, you will need to stay home from work as you cannot send a sick kid to daycare. (Drawn by Althea Peterson)
I received a daycare note with a little graduation cap the other day: "Congratulations, your child is moving up to the next class."
My now-seven-month-old daughter is no longer an "infant." She is a "tiny tot."
She has now been attending daycare since she was about two months old. As such, it's probably about time for me to do a daycare entry. Here goes!
Seeking daycare
You would think with a nine month warning like pregnancy I would have started searching for a child care center long before the baby's arrival. No. Foolish me. I could not just walk into any center in town and exclaim "Take my money!"
Daycares also can only take children of certain ages. Some will take them at 6 weeks. Some at 2 months, some not even until 3 or 6 months.
You also will be in for some sticker shock: Care for children, especially infants, will cost hundreds per month, even if it's not for a full day's care, even if it's not every weekday.
In a nutshell:
Daycares are booked. Seek care at least three to six months in advance, regardless of your child's age.Daycares have age restrictions. You may not be able to enroll your child until they are 2-3 months old.Daycares are expensive. Full-time weekday care will cost about $800 per month for infants, at least $500 for older children.The added costs with daycare
I'm not talking about the gas to commute, or the rear-facing child seat that you will need in your car in order to transport your baby -- this is everything else at the daycare.
Enrollment fee: A one-time fee that reserves your child's spot in your new daycare center. Cost is variable, depending on the center and the child's age.
Holidays, snow days, sick days, vacation days: Don't expect refunds or credit for days missed due to holidays, snow days, or your child's sick/vacation days. Some places may give credit after your child is enrolled for awhile (at least a few months), but some do not offer refunds/credit for missed days. Holidays are also built into daycare schedules, so don't expect to use a daycare center as your Christmas babysitter!
Late fees: If your center closes at 6 p.m. and you show up at 6:15 p.m., expect to pay a late fee. Some might excuse you if you come up with a really good excuse, but most are firm with their closing time policy. Also, don't expect to be able to drop your child off earlier than the day's opening time.
Formula/milk: The daycares we visited required parents to provide infant formula or breastmilk. And the bottle to feed your child with, as well. However, full-day child care centers usually provide meals in the cost for older children.
Diapers: Cloth or disposable, the caregivers will change your child about every 2-3 hours or as needed. Expect to send a lot of diapers to daycare!
Our child care center has spare clothes (baby vomit and diaper explosions happen) and many toys on site. Some places may also require additional supplies, such as baby wipes.
Getting past the guilt
Yes, my primary job is mom. Yes, I am paying someone else to supervise my daughter, but I'm not going to be guilted about it for a wide variety of reasons:
1- The center's care providers have more experience than me. So you're saying that she won't howl during belly time if you distract her with a mirror?
2- Daycare provides a more structured day. Regular feedings and naps. Everything is written down, including diaper changes. No wonder she sleeps better on weekday nights than weekends.
3- It's a social experience. My daughter kicked another baby accidentally while playing? Aww.
Before you finalize your daycare selection, please check out Ginnie Graham's entry on the Department of Human Services database of child care providers
here.
--Althea Peterson
Trimesterly tribute: There is no better time to be pregnant than fall and winter, because your growing belly will keep you warm and your thick clothing will hide your pregnancy from many. I would often take the dogs out for a mile walk after work, since it was never too cold to be outside, nor too hot to get some exercise. Unfortunately, the dogs still associate me walking them with me wearing hoodies, so anytime I try to wear one now, they look at me expectantly: "Aren't you going to walk us now?"
Baby bit: She still won't crawl, but my husband's persistance paid off last weekend: She sat up on her own. For a few months, he would sit her up on the floor, on our bed, on the couch, wherever, like a big girl. Sometimes she would lose her balance, but mostly, she was proud to be sitting tall. And now, she does it constantly. On her own.
Mommy moment: If this entry seemed a bit rushed compared to others, I have an excuse: My breastpump, which the manual said is built for a single user, is starting to lose its suction. Normally when I pump, I get out my doodle book, scribble up some cartoons while envisioning what I will write, and then return to real work about 10 mins later. Instead, I've been trying to convince the pump to actually work. Argh.
Althea's previous entries:
Oct. 8: Baby blood drawing, catheter, congestion, antibiotics...Oct. 1: Beginnning to feed solid foods to a babySept. 24: Baby's first long car tripSept. 17: Photos: A newborn baby in her new homeSept. 10: Motherhood misconceptions and baby mythsSept. 3: When a baby can't sleep and won't stop crying (possibly due to her first cold)Aug. 27: Baby's appetite changes can make breastfeeding more difficultAug. 20: Mom's hospital stay after the baby arrivesAug. 13: Returning to work after maternity leaveAug. 6: Life as a single, working mother with a babyJuly 30: Dealing with a baby's first sick timeJuly 23: Delivering a baby by Cesarean sectionJuly 16: Introducing a new baby to your pet cat and dogsJuly 9: Breastfeeding a baby is a challenging decisionJuly 2: Baby airport travel requires patience and timeJune 28: Baby means there's never an awkward silence
Althea Peterson is the proud mother of a seven-month old girl. Althea returned to work at the Tulsa World in May after two months of maternity leave. Baby advice, baby questions or baby words of encouragement can be sent to althea.peterson@tulsaworld.com. Also, follow Althea on Twitter at twitter.com/a1a4ou.
