By JIMMIE TRAMEL Sports Writer on Aug 9, 2012, at 7:33 PM Updated on 8/09 at 7:33 PM
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I’m going to tell you who I’m picking to win the Big 12 in the Tulsa World’s 2012 college football special section, but I need to point something out first.
Men are funny in this way: Most of us are homely, slothful, slack-jawed troglodytes who, as a public service, should be hidden from public view. And yet when you put, for instance, a group photo of supermodels in front of us, we might start finding flaws and nit-picking them into oblivion.
For instance: “Hey, Cindy Crawford looks sharp, but she’s got that mole.”
That isn’t a case of the pot calling the kettle black. It’s more like the garnish on a steak house plate saying the ribeye isn’t up to par.
Let’s call it the Jerry Seinfeld syndrome. During his classic TV series, the comedian dated a string of nice-looking gals, but he and his mates always seemed to find a (usually trivial) flaw in them and Jerry just couldn’t get past whatever that was.
And that’s where I am with the Big 12 football race.
I look at all the possible contenders and they’ve all got a flaw I just can’t get past.
Texas hasn’t shown anybody anything in two years. (Recruit like Tarzan, play like Jane?)
Oklahoma has injury issues in the offensive line and attitude issues at receiver and isn’t this basically the same team that produced head-scratching performances against Texas Tech, Baylor and Oklahoma State?
West Virginia made the best last impression, putting up an absurd point total against Clemson in a bowl game. But does anyone know if the Mountaineers can play defense well enough to win a championship? And, best guess, they’ll be shell-shocked a little by their first tour through Big 12 venues.
I can’t pick OSU to repeat as Big 12 champs, even with an improved defense, because that’s a lot to expect from a squad quarterbacked by a first-year freshman.
Try to figure out Texas Tech and it will only make your brain hurt. After shocking Oklahoma, the Red Raiders were outscored 256-102 while going 0-5 the rest of the season.
TCU? I bet the Horned Frogs put up a good fight this season, but it won’t be good enough.
Baylor? The Heisman winner, the guy who oozed magic, is gone to the NFL.
Kansas? It’s not basketball season.
Iowa State? The Cyclones do a good job of maximizing assets, but, in a league where everybody plays everybody, talent is going to win out.
And that leaves one team: Kansas State. I don’t think any Big 12 team actually deserves to be the favorite, but somebody has to be, so I’m going with the school that has both a coach of the century (Bill Snyder) and the league’s best pure football player (Collin Klein), even though he won’t be the all-conference quarterback.
I was charged with the responsibility of asking Klein a few completely harmless poll question at the Big 12’s football media days and -- get this -- he said (and repeated when I asked again) that he did not have an opinion on whether he prefers morning, day or night games. How can you not have an opinion on that? Kickoff times determine whether players spend all Saturday in hotel meeting rooms or whether they finish early and get the rest of the day off.
The vibe I got was that Snyder has done such a good job of turning his players into “company men” that they had been transformed into Stepford Wildcats whose sole purpose in life was to do exactly -- and only -- what their coach wants them to do.
I can’t rationalize a better choice, so I’ll go out on a limb and pick the Stepfords to win the Big 12. And, just to set the record straight, I didn’t ask Klein to break down the flaws of supermodels.
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