A baby hippo -- or, as a particular homeless man might describe it, one of my childhood photos.
I am more than aware I'm not thin. I am, indeed, overweight. Quite, no less, as a doctor confirmed late last year.
So I really don't need people -- including members of our transient population -- pointing out the obvious.
Nevertheless, after I'd picked up my lunch (a grilled chicken salad with salsa, thank you) from Lou's Deli yesterday, I walked back toward the office, passing a familiar homeless guy to my left.
That morning, he asked, "You got change for some coffee or cigarettes?"
"No, I'm sorry," I told him.
Well, when I passed him at lunch, he said, "Better not be eatin' all that."
I laughed and said, "Yeah, you're probably right," and I kept walking.
Then he said, "Because you're starting to look like Hungry Hungry Hippo."
I kept walking, vacillating between amusement and the urge to say something really fourth-grade like, "At least I'm not hungry hungry homeless." But I realized that would be pointless and, above all, completely tacky.
Maybe he was ticked off because I didn't have any change earlier. Still, it's no cause to be rude. I mean, the homeless gentleman across the street on the corner by Arby's is always nice, even smiles and says "thank you" when given change.
Usually, I opt to cut transients some slack, like when they brazenly cross the street when the light's green, holding up traffic -- and you just KNOW it's on purpose. And why not -- they're angry! They're ticked off at their situation, tired of being on the street or having to beg for change or even food. I get it, and I totally have patience for the jaywalking thing.
But hungry hungry dang hippo? Yes, I need to get over it -- and I honestly have laughed at this. But I kinda wanna sidle up to Mr. Rude & Homeless and say, "Look, like my mama told me, you attract more flies with honey -- i.e., when you don't call people hippos, they might be more inclined to give you change when they have it."
But I doubt that would prove useful. In fact, he might knife me. Not to perpetuate a stereotype that transients are violent because, as I said earlier, others I know are pretty polite. I just try to function under the daily belief that anyone, no matter their sex, socioeconomic standing or age, could be packing a firearm or, at the very least, something sharp to end my life.
That said, I'm not sure what my point is, other than I may NEVER wear this green, thick hooded sweater again without Spanx for Men underneath. And, more importantly, if someone's rude to you -- homeless or not -- our first impulse might be to be rude back. But where does that get us? It only feels good for a second, and then you're killed with a knife. Totally not worth it.
Peace, love and hippos -- that, I've been told, really aren't that hungry hungry ... XOXO
