Wiarton, Ontario, Mayor John Close listens to groundhog Wiarton Willie's weather prediction in Wiarton, Canada, on Thursday. You know, that's what crazy people do, listen to a groundhog whisper weather forecasts. The groundhog prognosticator predicted an early end to winter. Canadians... (AP Photo/The Canadian Press, Frank Gunn)
So, some kind of rodent crawled out of his Pennsylvania hole this morning and “saw his shadow,” which means a long winter.
What?
You know, he probably crawled back in that hole when he saw the throngs of people anxiously leaning in to see him emerge, cameras flashing as strange men in top hats tried to violently yank him out and throw him in the air. How terrible.
I’ve never really understood Groundhog Day. I know there are all kinds of
weather lores. Some are true (based on science), some are bogus. But this one is really out of hand (I blame
Harold Ramis. An aside: that is a really dark movie, if you think about it).
Apparently, if the groundhog emerges from his slumber and sees the sun, he says to himself, “Self, this is preposterous! I shall sleep for six more weeks until the true spring equinox!” If he sees his shadow, he says, “Hey hey! This ain’t too bad, y'all! I could get used to this!” and he hangs out, doing groundhoggy things.
A few hours ago, the most famous of the groundhogs, Punxsutawney Phil,
emerged was pulled out of his hole and thrown into the air. And the official prediction was
six more weeks of winter.
Oh, what, did he look at his calendar before he came out? It’s actually about six and a half weeks, Phil. Get it right.
Today in Pennsylvania, it was cloudy, but who cares about that. The “Inner Circle” decided six more weeks of winter before the rodent even came out. That’s right. An Inner Circle decides what your late-winter weather will be like. They also decide the president and who will win American Idol.
I know winter can happen in late February and March. I mean, this time last year we were up to our knees in snow that would last a long time (he predicted an early spring last year, btw). The snowfall records that last year’s blizzard broke were actually set in March 1994 (long winter…).
Using the same idea of chance, our official Tulsa World Magic 8 Ball has a better track record than that groundhog does. So, we asked our official Tulsa World Magic 8 Ball if we will have six more weeks of winter. "My sources say no."
So, despite the warm weather and the spring-like thunderstorms forecast for tomorrow, we still have six (and a half) weeks to go, according to a groundhog in northern Pennsylvania. To quote World Staff Writer Sara Plummer, "If the next six weeks of winter are like this, I'm OK with that." Amen.
--Jerry Wofford
