Myth: Breastfeeding/formula is easier/cheaper than formula/breastfeedingReality: About all that can be agreed upon is that health experts agree that breastfeeding is more beneficial health-wise for babies.
After that, you can go either way on what is more expensive. My breast pump cost hundreds, just like cans of formula.
What is easier? I pumped till I bled last night because I was falling short on amounts needed to feed my daughter. On formula, all I can remember mom saying about it was the word "sanitize" repeatedly.
Do what you can for your baby, without thinking about cost or convenience. There's pros and cons to both.
Myth: Don't drive, be quiet, be still, don't do ANYTHING, or you'll wake the baby!Reality: I used this excuse for the first two weeks of my daughter's life to put off vacuuming, running appliances, you name it.
I later discovered that carrying her in a sling while vacuuming was an easy way to get her to sleep. Driving a baby around in her car seat is another soother of fussiness. The dish washer? The washing machine? Baby loves white noise from them both.
Visitors to our house that first month were quiet to the point of being silly. Eventually, I was just speak louder and say "She's not waking up, you can speak up!" Our baby's hearing is not like a radar, at least not yet.
Now, a surprise bark from the dogs next to her ear? That'll wake up her Moro relex (when a startled/falling baby suddenly flings her arms out)
Myth: Newborn babies crawl, smile, have full heads of hair, talk baby talk and interact with you just like those babies in movies and in diaper commercials!Reality: You might get a quick smile when she's asleep, but your first "real" smile probably won't happen until about two months.
Lots of newborns have some hair, but most of it will fall out and regrow later, possibly a different color. So please, don't assume that every baby with short hair is a boy (especially my daughter!).
We didn't really start hearing a lot of baby talk until about two or three months. She really started to coo and laugh at four months.
The crawling? She is almost six months and mostly kicks air while on her belly. We call it "baby surfing." But, hardly any real crawling. She can roll from back-to-belly and back, spin in circles on her stomach, but doesn't charge across the floor after the dogs yet.
Myth: Protect your baby from your pets! Your cat will pounce on it in the night and your dog will mistake it for the squirrels they chase in the backyard!Reality: Just because your cat likes to pounce on you at night, dig its claws into your arm while purring or use your sweater as a scratching post doesn't mean that the cat will treat your baby the same way.
For the most part, my cat seems to be afraid of the baby and keeps his distance. The dogs are sometimes curious and sometimes leery of her, alternating between licking her face and staying away.
My husband and I once discused having a safety shield above her crib before she was born to prevent the cat from jumping in. Not only was it unnecessary because the cat stayed away from her, she didn't start regularly sleeping in her crib until a week ago.
It is a very good idea to supervise any together time between your pets and your baby, but so long as your pets are disciplined and have their own needs met, there likely will be no baby-pet problems.
Myth: Pregnant mothers look pregnant.Reality: Ever feel like glaring at that healthy looking woman taking up the "expecting mothers" parking space? She's thin, so she's obviously not pregnant, right?
I didn't start really showing until midway through my second trimester and at that point, it was winter, so I was able to hide it from almost everyone (except for people who were already parents) well into my third trimester.
Unfortunately, expecting moms will feel the effects of pregnancy long before they start showing off a large belly to the world. Fatigue, an increased appetite and lower back pain are some of the symptoms that set in early and stayed all nine months for me.
So judge not, angry glaring eyes. You might be next to an expecting mother without even knowing it.
Myth: Cesarean sections (c-sections) are a convenient way to have your childbirth on your schedule.Reality: Please don't have a c-section unless medically necessary.
Almost half a year later, the scabs are still falling from the scar and my abdomen area is finally able to handle tighter clothes.
However, when I shower, I still cannot scrub the area, but just allow the water to drip down across it.
Immediately after childbirth, you may experience some of the inconvenient side effects of having a c-section: Trouble urinating, difficulty with any sit-up motions, weakness, difficulty with laughing and coughing, etc.
Your due date can wait. Don't have a c-section out of convenience.
Myth: Just sleep whenever your baby sleeps, because newborns sleep more than 20 hours a day!Reality: An anxious new mother can take hour-long hourly naps like an infant? Ha!
Babies need to eat every 2-3 hours when they are first born. Any sleep at any point in the day beyond that during the first few weeks is a gift from your baby. Don't expect a newborn to know day from night or what time the clock says for at least a month.
You likely won't get a full night's sleep again for at least a few months. And you just never know when your baby will get sick and decide to fuss all night instead of sleep quietly like a normal person.
Myth: Maternity leave is a vacation, perfect for catching up on household chores, taking a break from work and even a little bit of time to relax.Reality: You won't get very much sleep. Eating and showering are not guaranteed.
I recall one afternoon when my daughter would whine whenever I would try to sit down, so I would walk laps around the kitchen table. When she stopped whining, I would finish as much daycare paperwork as I could until the next whining started.
I found myself feeding her as often as possible, because that was the only way I could convince her to let me sit down.
By the time my husband got home from work, she would be close to bedtime, so very cranky. We now jokingly call this the "hates daddy" phase.
By the time maternity leave ended in May, I was ready to return to work and entrust an experienced adult with my child and she really benefitted from the structure. Regular daytime naps! Being watched by a well-rested adult!
Reality: The most difficult jobs are the most rewarding.You grow to appreciate things that you haven't before -- when you get the first real, genuine smile when your baby's about 2 months old, or you finally get to have a full night's sleep for the first time in several months -- parenthood is a totally different experience from anything else.
That's probably why there's so many misconceptions and myths.
--Althea Peterson
PS: Please leave a comment with your own baby/parent myths and misconceptions. Baby and I are traveling to Wisconsin for a wedding next weekend so alas, I will be out of the office. To fill this blog space next Monday morning, I'll share some personal photos, showing the life of a new mother.
Trimesterly tribute: When I finally worked up the courage to tell my editor I was expecting, I mused that with the baby due in March, I might be able to watch a lot of college basketball. My editor, a father of two, laughed. He knew better.
Baby bit: What a difference between a sick baby and a well baby! Unlike last week's fussiness, lack of sleep, lack of naps and all around misery, my happy and healthy daughter was talkative, smiling, giggling, and sleeping. Whew!
Mommy moment: It is important to tell daycare when you bring in milk in a different container. How important? I got a friendly note saying "She needs more milk!" one night, and I was panicing a bit, knowing that I sent in at least 16 ounces. It rurns out that they had no idea 6 extra ounces was in the freezer in a bag, rather than in the fridge in a bottle like usual. Whoops!
Althea's previous entries:
Sept. 3: When a baby can't sleep and won't stop crying (possibly due to her first cold)Aug. 27: Baby's appetite changes can make breastfeeding more difficultAug. 20: Mom's hospital stay after the baby arrivesAug. 13: Returning to work after maternity leaveAug. 6: Life as a single, working mother with a babyJuly 30: Dealing with a baby's first sick timeJuly 23: Delivering a baby by Cesarean sectionJuly 16: Introducing a new baby to your pet cat and dogsJuly 9: Breastfeeding a baby is a challenging decisionJuly 2: Baby airport travel requires patience and timeJune 28: Baby means there's never an awkward silence
Althea Peterson is the proud mother of a five-month old girl. Althea returned to work at the Tulsa World in May after two months of maternity leave. Baby advice, baby questions or baby words of encouragement can be sent to althea.peterson@tulsaworld.com. Also, follow Althea and other parents on Twitter at twitter.com/twbecauseisaid.
I also will try to debunk some mommy myths. As for this drawning? NO. No, no, no, no, no. (Drawn by Althea Peterson)
