By ROD WALTON Staff Writer on Jul 12, 2012, at 12:15 PM Updated on 7/12 at 12:18 PM
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What were my four pre-marriage theories about raising children? I have no idea now and I didn’t have a clue then, either.
One of my favorite parenting quotations is from John Wilmoth: “Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories.”
Amen, Brother John! True words never been spoken in the history of raising up Rugrats.
Hmm, so what were some of my youthful misconceptions about the kind of parent I would be? It's slowly coming back to me. OK, let me count the ways:
No. 1: “I won’t let my girls date until they are 30.”
That one went out the window by 16. We’re just glad for the boys who didn’t drive up, stay in the car and simply honk their horns or text-message my daughter that “I’m here.” Those kind of boys will never get a kind word from me.
No. 2: “I’ll never spank, scream or otherwise put a dent in my precious child’s developing self-esteem.”
Well, here I succeeded and failed on mammoth scales. Our children rarely if ever got a brief spanking, only if they hit each other. I know I know, you’re only teaching violence begets violence, blah blah blah.
I have to admit I’ve lost it at times and given my progeny a fairly loud calling out. Sometimes it was deserved, sometimes not. But I’ll say this: Those who graduated from high school are still in college and those who haven’t are still in secondary school. They got friends and sports and seem to be holding up OK.
No. 3: “I won’t let them drive until they’re 21.”
What was I thinking? Please, take the car and let me rest here at home. Go, go, go but please be safe, watch out for the maniacs on the road and pay for your own gas.
No. 4: “My children will be self-sufficient by 21.”
I never meant this completely, knowing they had college and needed a place to do laundry and text-message all day. But I had no idea they wouldn’t check their college emails and mom and dad would scramble to make sure forms were filled out for financial aid or just to buy textbooks. Amazing that a child can claim they can handle a driving trip to KC for a late-night concert and get back home safely, but somehow don’t notice the university emails about things that can save mom and dad thousands of dollars…
Did I just write that out loud? Oops. There goes my “Selfless Father of the Year Award.”
OK, that’s four children and four theories, all flown out the window like a little bird who doesn’t know what to do in a hurricane. And if parenthood is done right, you’ll weather a combination of sunny days and storms. That’s about the one theory I’ve seen that holds true.
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