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Offer your child support without judgment

By COLLEEN ALMEIDA SMITH Staff Writer on Sep 12, 2013, at 2:56 PM  Updated on 9/12 at 2:56 PM

"I love to watch you swim" are powerful words for children to hear. CORY YOUNG/Tulsa World file



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CONTACT THE BLOGGER

Colleen Almeida Smith

918-581-8481
Email

Every once in a while I read parenting advice so profound that it taps my mother-lode of emotion and makes me cry.

The latest item to cause my watery eyes was an article a friend posted on Facebook, "6 Words You Should Say Today."

In the piece, the author quotes a story on sports parents.

"College athletes were asked what their parents said that made them feel great, that amplified their joy during and after a ballgame. Their overwhelming response: 'I love to watch you play.'"

The author is so touched by the advice that she quickly to applies it with her own children. She tells her older daughter at a competitive swim meet, "I love to watch you swim." She expresses the same sentiment to her younger daughter after a ukulele lesson. The statements are met with relief and hugs and thanks.

After the music lesson, the author says: "I swear I could read her mind: The pressure's off. She loves to hear me play; that is all."

You can read the entire blog at tulsaworld.com/6words.

The advice is simple, eloquent and to the point.

As I reflect on my daughters' soccer games, performances or art shows they entered and my attempts to "help" them after the fact, it makes me cringe.

I'm going to take the advice to heart and work on telling my daughters how much I love to watch them -- and stopping there. I pledge to stop critiquing and coaching. To quit nitpicking.

Instead, I will enjoy the moment. Revel in the performance. Embrace the activity.

I will give them space to explore their talent or passion without my judgment.

And I'll start as soon as I stop bawling.

Follow Colleen Almeida Smith on Twitter.

SCENE: Visit the home to all things food, movies, TV, music and local entertainment.
BECAUSE I SAID SO

SNAP Challenge Day 2: Deja vu all over again

My two-day SNAP Challenge is over, and I survived. I didn't actually thrive, though, which I think is the point.

By ...

SNAP Challenge Day 1: Is that all there is?

I started the SNAP Challenge today after a run to the grocery store last night. I was going to say 'quick run' but it took ...

Taking the SNAP Challenge

Can you meet your food needs on $4 a day?

Normally I wouldn't have to find out whether I could, but this year as part ...

CONTACT THE BLOGGER

Colleen Almeida Smith

918-581-8481
Email

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SCENE FEED

Gunman in Navy Yard rampage was hearing voices He had been treated since August by Veterans Affairs, the officials said.

17 hours ago

191 Comments

Putin and Obama

2 days ago

166 Comments

Obama's Jail

6 days ago

116 Comments

United We Stand

last week

88 Comments

Obama Foreign Policy

4 days ago