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Picture it: Sicily, 19-somethin' somethin' ...

By JASON ASHLEY WRIGHT Scene Writer on Jul 23, 2008, at 2:14 PM  Updated on 7/23 at 2:14 PM



LIVING WRIGHT

What's the most embarrassing thing ...

As I confessed in my Tuesday column, I'm a clumsy hooker.

But I'm also nosy, as I want to hear about YOUR most embarrassing ...

Is it really vandalism when it's a sticker with the words "nipple clamps"?

Aside from enjoying humorous ones spied on others' automobiles, I'm not a fan of bumper stickers.

I blame my father, ...

Where is the oddest place you've ever taken cover during bad weather?

During last week's bad weather, when a tornado siren sounded around midnight, I was caught at a midtown QuikTrip.

As ...

CONTACT THE BLOGGER

Jason Ashley Wright

918-581-8483
Email

Obit-Getty.jpg

The "Golden Girls" cast clockwise from left,
Bea Arthur, Rue McClanahan, Betty White
and Estelle Getty.


One of my favorite all-time TV shows (quel surprise) was "The Golden Girls."

My family would watch it every Saturday night it was on from the mid-'80s through ... What was it, 1992? Anyway, I even have the last episode on VHS tape -- and I watch it at least once a year. Yeah, I'm pathetic. But after Ex and I went to Splitsville, it was a welcome respite from heartbreak. Until, of course, the final scene when Dorothy finally leaves. Sigh ... I miss those girls.

That's why I was sad to hear about Estelle Getty, who played Dorothy's mom, Sophia. She died Tuesday, as you probably know -- and I'd bet my size-33 jeans (more on that excitement later) that ANYONE reading this silly blog knows a thing or two about "Golden Girls."

So let's trade favorite quotes from the show, wanna? Huh? Let's. Here go mine -- feel free to leave yours in the comment section.

Quick disclaimer: Most of these aren't quotes so much as, well, let's call 'em instances – or at least how I remember them. If I'm incorrect, though, holler.

* The time Rose's boyfriend, who was a "little person" (Lord, is that the right terminology?), came over and Blanche thought it was a joke. And she just kept laughing until it dawned on her that he really was the BF, and she said, "I wish I was dead." Then, mortified, she went to the kitchen to fetch an appetizer, waltzed confidently into the room and said, "Shrimp?", then turned right back around to hide in the kitchen. Yeah, that was a long instance, sorry.

*Dorothy to Sophia: "You're a furry little gnome, and we feed you too much." I've used that DOZENS of times, mostly on random people and my cat.

*Or the time Rose and Blanche were dressed as nuns during a hurricane (forget why, "Sound of Music" maybe?), and Dorothy's uncle, who was a priest (but not really, come to find out), was visiting. And when news came about the hurricane and everyone being trapped for a while, Blanche says, "Oh, Jesus …" To which Uncle Priest and everyone looks at her, before she adds, clasping her hands as if in prayer, "Please protect us in this our hour of need." (Again, I'm going off on memory here, so bare with me.)

*Conversation while Rose and Dorothy are composing a song about Miami for a contest ...

Rose: "Thrice is a word."

Dorothy: "So is interuterine." To which Rose eventually sings, "Miami, you're cuter than an interuterine." I didn't even know what "interuterine" was when I was a kid, but I still laughed.

*Blanche: "I'm jumpier than a virgin at an all-male prison rodeo."

*Blanche: "I'm wound up tighter than the girdle on a Baptist minister's wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast."

*Finally, in sweet memory of Sophia: "Why do blessings wear disguises? If I were a blessing, I'd run around naked." Amen, sister.

Peace, love and interuterines … xoxo

LIVING WRIGHT

What's the most embarrassing thing ...

As I confessed in my Tuesday column, I'm a clumsy hooker.

But I'm also nosy, as I want to hear about YOUR most embarrassing ...

Is it really vandalism when it's a sticker with the words "nipple clamps"?

Aside from enjoying humorous ones spied on others' automobiles, I'm not a fan of bumper stickers.

I blame my father, ...

Where is the oddest place you've ever taken cover during bad weather?

During last week's bad weather, when a tornado siren sounded around midnight, I was caught at a midtown QuikTrip.

As ...

CONTACT THE BLOGGER

Jason Ashley Wright

918-581-8483
Email

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105 Comments

Graduation

4 days ago