By JUNE STRAIGHT Staff Writer on Sep 2, 2012, at 11:11 PM Updated on 9/02 at 11:11 PM
BECAUSE I SAID SO
Nothing good comes from charts.
So when the pediatrician asked me to take a look at a growth chart at Rosie’s last appointment, ...
When Collette decided to play soccer, I struggled with a lot of questions. The main one being: How could I use this opportunity ...
This mom curses like a sailor and according to several websites that came up after Googling “relieve stress with cursing,” ...
CONTACT THE BLOGGER
918-581-8331
Email
We’ve all seen “that kid” screaming at the top of their lungs, running through the store as tears stream down their mean little pouty faces; but the only time you would ever compare that kid to your kid is when you smugly point out that your baby never behaves that way.
I’ll admit, I’m one of those parents. I feel sorry for the moms struggling with tantrum-throwing big kids. I mean, I know mine is no angel, but I when I catch these scenes in the store, I still talk trash to my friends saying “I wish Collette would try some mess like that in public … see what she needs to do is … ”
What?!
What should a parent do when faced with a public meltdown? I talk a big game, but this past week when my daughter freaked out at the dentist’s office, I was completely caught off guard.
She was fine -- happy even. Then the hygienist asked my to remove Collette’s earrings for the x-ray and things got crazy. My baby -- my smooth talking, normally polite baby, freaked out! She held her hands over her ears and ran through the reception and exam areas screaming “No! Don’t touch my earrings!” When we got her to stop she still wouldn’t take them out and had to be dragged back to the x-ray machine. Finally, we all gave up. She won. They would let her get the x-ray with the earrings.
I didn’t know how to react.
I’m not going to lie, my first thought was “slap the snot out of her!” which hit me like a slap, because it’s not the way I discipline. But in that moment I wanted to hurt my child. I wanted to pop her thighs, pinch her arms, curse at her and really give her something to cry about! All the threats and punishments I’d ever received a child and swore never to do as an adult, danced before my eyes.
But all I could do was grit my teeth, take deep breaths, calmly remind Collette that this was not the way to behave and threaten to take away privileges and toys -- not nearly as satisfying as the spanking idea.
When I asked her why she was freaking out. She angrily spat out something about how badly it would hurt to put the earrings back in, earning her a frustrated eye-roll and me more visions of corporal punishment.
In the end she calmed down, got the x-rays (with her earrings) and pretended nothing happened.
She had an excellent appointment after that.
I couldn’t shake the anger. She didn’t even care about her punishments. No Netflix or TV? No problem. No new swing set like we’d planned? Ah, well. “I’ll earn it back, Mom.”
No chances for redemption? “Well, I don’t think I really wanted it anyway.”
Ugh! She was ruining this punishment -- taking away my power!
But what else could I do. I told her the behavior was unacceptable.
“It’s OK to be afraid and even to cry,” I said, “but it’s not OK to run and scream and tell Mommy ‘No.’ Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do even when you’re scared.”
She said she understood. She even apologized. She did something wrong and accepted the consequences. A part of me thinks if given a chance to do it again, she wouldn’t change a thing. A part of me is a little proud. That must be the part of me that treated my mother like this when I was a kid.
Only active print or digital subscribers of the Tulsa World are allowed to post comments on stories posted to Tulsaworld.com. After you fill out the form below and click submit, your comment will be published instantly online along with your screen name.
By clicking "Submit" you are agreeing to our terms and conditions.
