No. 1: The Watch
No. 2: That's My Boy
No. 3: Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
These are the worst of the worst, the cinematic offenders of 2012 that you are advised to avoid at all costs:
1. The Watch
I don't know who said "Let's get Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn together for a science-fiction comedy full of phallic jokes in which they fight off aliens in their neighborhood," but those people need to be abducted by aliens and probed.
2. That's My Boy
"That's My Boy" is disgusting, stupid, offensive and unfunny, which is to say that it's an Adam Sandler movie. Sandler must be stopped, and only you, the audience, can end his reign of terror.
3. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
Nicolas Cage's version of comic-book superhero "Ghost Rider" rumbles down the highway on a fiery motorcycle, himself a blazing skeleton. Beyond the flames, he appears to be brainless and gutless, lacking even a funny bone. So is this unneeded sequel.
4. Man on a Ledge
Note to filmmakers: When you have a star like Sam Worthington who has presence, especially in his action skills and interactions with other actors, don't stick him on a 21st-floor ledge. Not that the rest of this turkey is compelling, or coherent, for that matter.
5. Battleship
This poster-child for the big, dumb, loud summer blockbuster destroys aircraft carriers, brain cells and Taylor Kitsch's chances of headlining another $200 million movie in his career. Just sink this "Battleship."
6. Darling Companion
Diane Keaton in Diane Keaton mode, fidgety and making funny noises with her mouth. She plays a woman who might love a dog more than her husband (Kevin Kline, looking as embalmed as the movie). Lawrence Kasdan's story flops from the start, and it can't get back up.
7. Anna Karenina
Tolstoy's epic novel, conceived as a film vehicle for Keira Knightley to make more ostentatious costume changes than Cher performing in concert with Beyonce. She also appears as the most stunningly beautiful but gravely ill woman since Ali MacGraw in "Love Story."
8. Thunderstruck
To make a family sports fantasy starring the Oklahoma City Thunder's Kevin Durant, the director of past "worst movie of the year" candidates "Deck the Halls" and "Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son" was hired. Well ... this filmmaker is consistent.
9. Project X
This house party-from-hell flick wants to be something like "Superbad" meets "Jackass" meets "Girls Gone Wild," but without the sweetness. Meant to be a comedy, but with no laughs beyond cringe-inducing "That's so wrong" moments. Juvenile in the worst way.
10. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
The lead actor has all the charisma of one of those animatronic figures in Disney's Hall of Presidents. A good degree of disappointment stems from the fact that the title alone seemed to promise something amusing, but this movie simply sucks.
