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Yo, fellas, let's have a beer and bake some cupcakes! Yar!!!

By JASON ASHLEY WRIGHT Scene Writer on Nov 16, 2011, at 7:00 AM  Updated on 11/15 at 6:19 PM



LIVING WRIGHT

What's the most embarrassing thing ...

As I confessed in my Tuesday column, I'm a clumsy hooker.

But I'm also nosy, as I want to hear about YOUR most embarrassing ...

Is it really vandalism when it's a sticker with the words "nipple clamps"?

Aside from enjoying humorous ones spied on others' automobiles, I'm not a fan of bumper stickers.

I blame my father, ...

Where is the oddest place you've ever taken cover during bad weather?

During last week's bad weather, when a tornado siren sounded around midnight, I was caught at a midtown QuikTrip.

As ...

CONTACT THE BLOGGER

Jason Ashley Wright

918-581-8483
Email

2011/11/DrillerP.g49.jpg

The Driller, a decidedly butch cupcake topped with awesome chocolate frosting and, of course, bacon.


I'm not sure why I think this, but pirate talk -- i.e., "yar," "ahoy, matey" and "watch me peg leg or I'll make ye walk the plank" -- has always seemed like something you would do to "butch up" your patois. And by "you," I totally mean me. And by "patois," I totally mean I was obviously the target of bullies from the time I was born.

That's probably one of the reasons I turned to food growing up -- lots of food, especially sweets. Fat jokes? Bring on the icing! Homophobic taunts? Plug in the Easy-Bake Oven!

So I find it particularly ironic that I love "The Butch Bakery Cookbook" ($19.99, Wiley) by actor-turned-Butch Bakery owner David Arrick and baker extraordinaire Janice Kollar.

"This is NOT your mother's cupcake cookbook," they extol on the back of the book. But I was drawn in most by what was on the cover: a chocolate-iced cupcake resting on top of chunks of chocolate and spiked on top with BACON! Remember when we talked about food porn recently? Well, this could be a centerfold.

This book flexes its butch muscles best with guy-friendly offerings like the Wake Up Call, infused with coffee and Kahlua; the Home Run, a rich peanut butter cupcake topped with banana buttercream; and the Beer Run, a yar-inducing treat with chocolate cake and stout beer stopped with vanilla frosting and crushed chocolate-covered pretzels. The ones I can't wait to make are the Tailgate, which is a caramel-filled cupcake with a salted caramel buttercream frosting; and the Defense Defense, which is red velvet with Jack Daniel's cream cheese frosting.

More than literal and figurative eye candy, though, the book breaks down the basics all guys need to know when going to the kitchen to whip stuff up. They even show you how to make chocolate discs in camouflage and plaid.

Here's the recipe for the Driller, that bacon-studded eye-popper from the book's cover. It's a maple cupcake with milk chocolate ganache (don't be scared by the G word, David and Janice learn ya what it means) and, mais oui, mon ami, bacon bits:

DRILLER

For the maple cupcales:
2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
10 tablespoons (1 1/4 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
3 large eggs, broken into a small bowl
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1/3 cup whole milk
1/3 cup pure maple syrup

For the milk chocolate ganache:
4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter
1 cup heavy cream
1 1/2 cups milk chocolate chips
1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
Pinch salt

And for the topping:
3/4 cup Butch's Bacon Bits (recipe follows) or crumbled crisp bacon

Make the cupcakes:
1. Place a baking rack in the center of the oven and preheat the oven to 350. Line two 6-cup jumbo-size muffin pans with liners and set aside.
Place a strainer over a medium mixing bowl and sift together the flour, baking powder and salt. Set aside.
2. In a medium-size mixing bowl, with an electric mixer on medium-high speed, beat the butter and brown sugar until well combined. Add the eggs and vanilla and beat until creamy. Scrape down the sides of the bowl and add half of the flour mixture and the milk, beating to combine. Add the rest of the flour mixture and the maple syrup, and continue to mix just until the dry ingredients are incorporated, scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed.
3. Fill each prepared muffin cup with a rounded 1/3 cup batter, about 3/4 full. Bake, rotating the pans halfway through, until the tops are just firm to the touch and a tester inserted in the center of a cupcake comes out clean, about 24 minutes. Leave the cupcakes in the pan on a rack to cool for 5 to 10 minutes. Transfer the cupcakes to the wire rack to cool completely before frosting, about 1 hour.

Make the ganache:
1. In heavy 2-quart saucepan over low heat, melt the butter. Stir in the cream and heat until very hot but not boiling. Remove from the stove and stir in both kinds of chocolate chips until smooth and glossy. Stir in the vanilla and the salt. Transfer to a medium-size mixing bowl, and cool to room temperature. Chilling the mixture in the refrigerator will take about 1 hour. Beat the ganache on medium-high speed until thick and creamy, about 2 to 3 minutes.

Cupcake construction:
1. Get out that ice cream scoop (2 to 2 1/4 inches) and top each cupcake with a generous rounded scoop of frosting. Sprinkle 1 rounded teaspoon of the bacon bits on top of each cupcake. Cupcakes can be refrigerated for up to 3 days in an airtight container, or frozen for 1 month.

If you like:
1. You can shine them up a bit before you sprinkle on the bacon bits by taking a butter knife (no serrated edges, please) and pushing the frosting down to about an inch high, flattening the top, and then taking the knife and making a flat 45-degree angled edge all the way around the side of the scoop of frosting.
2. The milk chocolate ganache can be used when warm, too. Just spoon it over the cupcakes as a glaze and let cool on the cupcakes. You won't get as much frosting on top, but you’ll be able to eat them much sooner -- with no mixer to clean!

BUTCH'S BACON BITS:
(Makes about 3/4 cup)

1/3 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper
10 to 12 slices of regular-cut bacon (1/2 pound)

1. Preheat the oven to 400, and adjust the rack in the upper half of the oven. Line a rimmed baking sheet with aluminum foil and place a similar-sized wire cooling rack inside the pan.
2. In a medium-size mixing bowl, combine the brown sugar and pepper. Add the bacon strips and toss in the mixture. Lay the strips in one layer on the rack and top with any leftover sugar. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes until browned. Cool slightly before finely chopping. This will keep for 1 week stored in an airtight container in the refrigerator.

Peace, love and masculine, gun-totin' ganache ... XOXO
LIVING WRIGHT

What's the most embarrassing thing ...

As I confessed in my Tuesday column, I'm a clumsy hooker.

But I'm also nosy, as I want to hear about YOUR most embarrassing ...

Is it really vandalism when it's a sticker with the words "nipple clamps"?

Aside from enjoying humorous ones spied on others' automobiles, I'm not a fan of bumper stickers.

I blame my father, ...

Where is the oddest place you've ever taken cover during bad weather?

During last week's bad weather, when a tornado siren sounded around midnight, I was caught at a midtown QuikTrip.

As ...

CONTACT THE BLOGGER

Jason Ashley Wright

918-581-8483
Email

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