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Golf?
Published: 4/8/2009 4:18 PM
Last Modified: 4/8/2009 4:18 PM

Here's an interesting Masters question: How long does it take to find five non-white people in the enormous galleries?

Answer: Two days, six hours, fifteen minutes.

Here's an interesting golf thought: Tiger Woods was supposed to cause black children to take up the game.
Or at least watch more.

Well, where?

Sssshhhhh. Here comes the Masters. Don't disturb the billionaires. Jim Nantz in his Rolex. Butler Cabin full of old fogies and stogies.

Does Tiger win?

Of coure not, the field versus Tiger is a cinch lock.

Who does win?

Some Euro.

I'll take the foreigners against the field.

The Masters is a display of elite sporting exhibitionism.

It is great fun.

But it is what it is, a golf tournament insulated and isolated from a pained nation.

It should at least issue a disclaimer this year: We're sorry we have to be such snobs at a time like this.



Reader Comments 18 Total
LaffALot (4 years ago)
Yep, Fewer commercials plus the TV cameras orchestrate a “Masterful” golf experience. If you watch this tourney on HD TV, you’ll feel like you are standing right on the course.

One reason you don’t see as much “diversity” of ethic participants in the audience is because Master tickets are “held” by families for generations & The Master’s has less tickets for public distribution.

Ask any pro, If they could win One Major, what would it be? The argument is really the Master’s vs. the field.

There’s a saying, “No other Golf tournament like the Master’s” How true that is.
Marguerite (4 years ago)
I'm not sure this is a fair example. The Masters is a good target to make a point for a Picker column but its gallery isn't a good one to choose to try to make the claim of lack of diversity in general. This tournament and the Augusta club have always been considered a bastion of rich, white male supremacy. And who cares what kind of watch Jim Nance wears? (Is Rolex a sponsor?) To be fair, golf is a lot more diverse than it once was. You'll see it in some of the other tournament galleries, especially those played at public courses.

We watched most of the Par 3 contest yesterday where the players kids caddy for them and get their pictures taken a lot. It's a lot of fun to watch. 'Course not very many kids get to grow up that way, but that's not taking anything away from the rest of us.
mgsooner (4 years ago)
The Masters is an absolute snoozefest. We have now entered the doldrums between the end of the college basketball season and the beginning of football (both pro and college).

Picker have you been enjoyed the Craig Humphries "let me sit here and play Masters press conference clips" for an hour show on the Animal this week? Tremendous radio.
Ignatz (4 years ago)
Lots of pretty shots of dogwoods and azealas and the word "tradition" will be heard every other sentence. Yes, does look good in HD, but as Picker said, it is difficult to separate the tourney from the "old South" types running it.
The Picker (4 years ago)
MGSooner: Was it Stump, Lump, Hump or Gump? Grown men calling themselves kiddie names, please.

Maggie: Come on, now, your Escalade is showing.

Masters golf, while gorgeous and sometimes fun, is the picture of snobbism. You'd think they invented golf. All they invented was old male white elitism.

Compare the Masters with something like the British Open, or one of the other majors, where in the galleries you find actual real people.

Look at the Masters group, it looks like a combination Debutante Ball and CEO convention. I repeat the challenge, Maggie, find somebody in the gallery not in a designer golf skirt or shorts.

Butler Cabin, somebody call a housekeeper with a barf bag.
Arbythree (4 years ago)
The Picker......A Tradition Like No Other....
mgsooner (4 years ago)
If golf crowds were actually like those depicted in "Happy Gilmore" I might watch.
MexiMike (4 years ago)
"Grown men calling themselves kiddie names, please."

Is "The Picker" a grown-up name?
dcood (4 years ago)
Not exactly new news picker... Augusta National is a snobatorium, what's next, it was windy yesterday?? Is The Masters any more nauseating than convicted felons getting paid 7 and 8 figure salaries for average performance in any of the 3 major pro sports??
The Picker (4 years ago)
Dcood: Yeah, I'd say August is at the top of revolting charts because so far as I can tell there's not an regular person in any of the galleries. Take a look, it's comical; at least in the other three sports you mentioned, there are some normal fans.

Gene, you out there? What about the Bluegrass Saturday? Mr. Warren's horse, Charitable Man, is 3-1. Off since September, then a mile and an eighth, that a severe marching order. The field is pretty routine. The odds on him winning this and the Derby are a million to one. Local loyalty aside, I think I might pass.
Gene M (4 years ago)
Mr. Picker, In the Blue Grass I like 10/1-3-6. I think you're correct about Charitable Man as it needed a race before this one. At Oaklawn; 2/6-8-9. Tiger brought lots of children into the game and the answer to your question, "where" is everywhere including Tulsa's First Tee Program at Mohawk Park. Take a couple hours and go talk with Janice Gibson and tour the incredible facility Williams built for them. You should also see the academy Tiger built and funds in LA. You just didn't know where to look.
The Picker (4 years ago)
Gene, I'm looking on the pro tour and in the Augusta galleries.

The Augusta galleries look something like a Bernie Madoff family reunion.
Gene M (4 years ago)
Mr. Picker, I have been a participant in that August Group. Everyone is well behaved and very knowledgeable about the game. Trust me . . . if you make too much fun of that event lightening will strike you and you will walk funny for three months.
The Picker (4 years ago)
Anything that pipes in fake bird sounds is fine by me.
Gene M (4 years ago)
Mr. Picker, are you going to Oaklawn tomorrow for the big race? Which one do you like?
Octavio (4 years ago)
Bernie Madoff? Careful, it's okay to make fun of male WASP's, especially southern male WASP's, but you're treading on thin ice when you start to bring in a Bernie Madoff.
LaffALot (4 years ago)
As great as the television camera shots were of the golf course, the Master’s “elitist” commentary is downright Fascist!

Talk about a centralized control of a private enterprise.

Announcers sit in off sight booths, drinking their Bloody Mary’s & Manhattans, & Criticizing every shot, every club selection, every emotion, & every move the golfers make.

This snooty/highbrow ‘closed minded ensemble makes some of these ‘Snicker picker bloggers sound like angles

Just turn the sound down, open the window & hear those real birds singing outside & instead of listening to the ‘birdbrain announcers who think they wrote the book of golf.
ChrisR (4 years ago)
Went to the 2006 US Open at Winged Foot. It was my first time at a PGA event. Left thinking it was like NASCAR for rich peoeple.
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The Picker began entertaining – and infuriating – sports fans in 1993. Each week during football season, he writes about his picks of college and NFL games in his Thursday Sports column. He's never afraid of sharing his opinions about the game and the personalities who play it. Readers have a chance to go against him each season in the Outpick the Picker contest. He welcomes the competition.

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