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Mission Previously Impossible
Published: 7/25/2007 2:50 PM
Last Modified: 7/25/2007 2:50 PM

As the college football season approaches faster than any in sports history, the intent is to take this blog to the far corners of the globe, working magic, picking winners nobody knew were there, starting trends, stopping stupidity.

To get us all in the gridiron frame of mind, the Picker will now attempt something previously considered to be among the most difficult endeavors in sports history: curing Bob Stoops' crankiness.

Here is why he is cranky.

1. The USC national fiasco.

In this one, numerous Trojans laughed at the Sooners and called them quitters as USC lounged in easy victory in the first half. The game was not remotely competitive.

2. The LSU air ball.

Jason White over-threw a wide-open receiver for a touchdown that would have tied the game. Good as both defenses were, they'd probably have played all night.

3. The Texas Tech disgrace.

The refs rook the Sooners at the Red Raider goal.

4. The Oregon nightmare.

More massive incompetence from a zebra herd.

But overlooked in the comedy of errors was OU's inept pass defense. After the referees made a mockery of the game, OU could have, after all, tackled somebody on a generally lousy Oregon team.

5. Texas.

Stoops doesn't own Mack Brown, as the Longhorns improve.

6. Oklahoma State.

Pickens builds a shrine off the beaten path.
7. Boise State.

A rag-tag team beats the Sooners in the nation's favorite game of the century.

8. Probation.

Bomar and the person in charge of monitoring jobs let Stoops down.

Who wouldn't be somewhat terse after all that!
But here is the cure for Stoops's crankiness:
1. Be thankful for good health.
Wake up and have a jog in Norman, a great college town that wasn't named for Norman Rockwell, but almost could have been.

2. Think about all that money.

All those millions!

Just imagine how much good you can do with it.

3. You're not in the pros.

Even though Wade Phillips was the worst hire in NFL history, and the Cowboy job could be open in anywhere from two weeks on, punk athletes have ruined pro jobs everywhere. Remember how much fun Spurrier had at the Redskins. None.

4. You're in the Big 12 Conference.

No offense, but: no offenses.
5. The media.

It's like one big group hug.

So let's have a big smile, coach, the Picker is probably the only one watching closely to see if you can actually play pass defense or will get too conservative on offense.






Reader Comments 22 Total

Jeremy (6 years ago)
At the risk of looking like a brown-noser, I'll say that was an excellent post. I agree with all comments... except the "picking winners nobody knew were there". Are you a good fb 'capper? Absolutely. But, several of us out picked you more times than you out picked us. I assume the contest is on again for this season?...
worldpicker (6 years ago)
Watch it, Jeremy, I'll require that you start picking winners before the games are played.


Gene (6 years ago)
Mr. Picker, you seem to have assumed a lot of the characteristics of Superman. I am eager to see how you go about "stopping stupidity" when you are dealing with both OU and OSU fans. I trust you will involve your new sidekick, Jeremy, in this endeavor.

If Boise State beat OU shouldn't you give them more respect and use descriptions other than, "rag-tag"? If Rag-Tag beats OU . . . what moniker do we give OU? I'll contact some friends who went to USC and see if they have a suggestion or two and pass that along to you.

By the way, Jeremy is right; your blogs are getting very good. But . . . why don't you ever talk about golf anymore?

Steven (6 years ago)
Golf? Gene, I have to assume you are kidding. 3 out of the last 4 blogs are golf related.

I know that Stoops does not ingratiate himself with the media. You know how much I care...I dont. I have actually heard the man speak more than a handful of times when people were not asking every 5 seconds who the QB was going to be (and I am not referring to just this season). I will concede that he appears immediately on the defensive and is curt with the media.

While I agree, like you pointed out, that Stoops has a great deal to be frustrated about concerning the last few seasons...I have never heard him whine about it or use any of it as an excuse. Picker, I have heard you question the raises...which is fine. But with a program currently mired in embarrassment, I honestly am delighted that Bob Stoops is the coach for my alma mater and that they appreciate the coach that they have. I never looked at the raises as an incentive to those that 'allowed this all to happen.' Perhaps I should take off my crimson-colored glasses (although I like to try to be objective), but I think some of the expectations of Stoops are running a little ridiculous.
I think that he wins with class and loses without excuses (of which, as you pointed out, he had many). I understand why the media is not a fan, but I see his perspective as well. In a day in age when the media can find just about anyone, anywhere with questionable ethics...many are hard pressed to question Bob's personal inegrity or ethics (aside from the HUGE pyramid scandal involving $500...which I found laughable...the fact that Bob personally has the time to manage all his own investments and on a scale of such mammoth proportions). That is a bold statement considering the man is under a microscope 12 months out of the year. I wish picker that you could have had the chance to hear him speak at the "In the Zone" meeting/conference the other day. Either way, good blog.

Steven (6 years ago)
To that end, I am also happy that OSU has Gundy as a head coach. Although the linebacker thing is kind of a head-scratcher...he runs a quality program and has worked to show character and integrity as the head coach.
Ben Kapp (6 years ago)
Boise State a "rag tag" team ? I think not. A team outside of the BCS is invited to the dance because they are one of the best in the country. They upset one of my favorite teams (the Sooners) in the BCS bowl in one of the most exciting finishes in history. With comments such as these and your total disrespect for "non BCS" teams , I see why you hide behind the anonymous pseudonym of " The Picker".
worldpicker (6 years ago)
Gene: There's plenty of time for golf. Who you like anyway? Could this be the first tournament in major tournament history when a player doesn't have to use a single driver?


Steven: For $3,000,000 per year, you don't think we could get a smile?


Ben: What does anonymity have to do with anything? An idea is either on the money or not. What if a cure for a disease came anonymously? We're like one of those super heroes. We're fine with others getting the personal glory.


Yeah, rag-tag: anybody who has to use how many, 9? -- hidden ball tricks, is rag-tag.


george (6 years ago)
Personally, I'd get sick of answering the same questions over and over again about my quarterback, but it is still a lot funner to listen to Mike Leach than Stoops.
worldpicker (6 years ago)
Yeah, and maybe that explains why Leach doesn't land a job at what some have been prone to call a real football school.


An offense that productive and entertaining, maybe the Leach we see on these funny press interviews it the same Leach the college presidents would see.



Jeremy (6 years ago)
Leach's passion is offensive football...and he's a great tactician. Now, if he would go out and hire the best defensive coordinator in the land that was also a super recruiter (if they would go to Tech), then I'd hate to play them. What a combo that would be.

Wait...we saw that very combo win it all in 2000 (we all know that Mangino was running Leach's system with Leach's QB that year)...except the defensive guy was in charge.

Gene (6 years ago)
Mr. Picker, I like a youngster named Hunter Mahan to win the PGA. He is playing very well at the present time and he won the Big XII Conference Championship there by lots of strokes.

As for using the driver, look for them to pull it out on # 5, # 13 and # 16. Accuracy is better than distance.

worldpicker (6 years ago)
Gene: Not bad. Who did you steal that from?


What's good about that golf pick is winners of the big ones usually play well the week before.


What's bad about your pick is it's too obvious. He figures to be a popular choice. One thing readers of the Picks have learned is: don't be a victim of the obvious.


The Picker has the possible winners down to a list of 27. Stay tuned.


As a brief aside, will somebody make Pat Jones stop talking about Arkansas football on the local sports hot air radio. This just in. This isn't Arkansas. Not even close.


Steven (6 years ago)
"uh....uh...uh...look-it...uh...uh...I uh..."

I take days off my life when trying to listen to him...that and grow a full beard trying to hear him complete a sentence. I am sure he is a nice man...but look-it, some people were not destined for radio.
worldpicker (6 years ago)
Does anybody think they talk about Oklahoma schools in Fayetteville?


Sometimes it's like these so-called experts on radio invent things to talk about at, mainly, TU's expense. We get enough of Oklahoma City on the Sports Homing Pidgeon radio network, and on the Sunday night TV Blitz on the local CBS outlets, where Tulsa is treated like a step-child.


A little Arkansas is fine.


But all that any cheerleading does is make a neutral observer pull against the team getting special treatment.


Plus, last time we looked, the Arkansas pass game was the stuff of which arena football leagues are made.


If radio people can't keep favortism to yourself, at least talk faster.


Gene (6 years ago)
Mr. Picker . . . if I can guess the names on your list of 27, will you buy me a libation of my choice at the Cog? To start:
Mickelson
Furyk
Tiger
Vijay
Kim
Mahan
Gene (6 years ago)
Mr. Picker, I have new insight as to why Coach Stoops appears cranky and out-of-sorts. The sports people at AOL.com came up with a list of the "dirtiest programs" in NCAA football history. The top three are: #1 Texas Tech; # 2 OU; and # 3 Texas A&M. OSU came in way down the list at ninth.

My thought is that Stoops desires to be # 1 in everything and even with all the turmoil he had he still can't make it in this category. I'll bet Switzer can help him achieve his goal. At least the Big XII Conference excels in this area and didn't let us down.

By the way, the other Division I team in Oklahoma didn't make the list, even as an Honorable Mention. Imagine that . . .a college that isn't in trouble every year and with athletes who graduate right here in the Sooner Nation?

RR (6 years ago)
Mr. Picker, have you by chance seen the list of top 100 sporting events, contributors and venues created by the Daily Dissapointment's Berry Tramel? This would make great fodder for a sensible guy like you...the man's list is such a joke he should have his journalism "card" revoked! As far as the 100 greatest contributors to Oklahoma sports, he has Nolan Richardson number 66 on the list, three spots behind the venerable Patti Gasso!! Nah, forget that Nolan was a pioneer as the first african american college basketball coach in the state and the fact that he won a national title on every level that he coached is just no big deal! Also on the list was Al Eshback...huh?? So let me get this straight, Al Eshback contributed more to Oklahoma sports than Jimmy Johnson, Glenn Dobbs, Tubby Smith, and Mike Case, (Tramel included donors), all of whom were left off of this list. I know that I am biased toward TU, but that's my point, he calls this a state list but totally ignored anything that occurred outside of the Oklahoma City metropolitan area.

Also, just though you might want to know that Venus Williams playing in the IGA classic at charity event in OKC ranks 40-something as the biggest event in state history, well in front of Arnold Palmer finishing second to Dave Stockton at the PGA!! You have been right all of these years, it is not a matter of pumping your paper up and downing theirs, but they have a collection (with Tramel leading the way) of the most uneducated "sports" writers in America. Berry can make his lists, but he ought to do all Tulsan's a favor by calling it Oklahoma City's best and just leaving Tulsa guys out altogether. Oh by the way, TU's 1999-2000 elite eight basketball team did not rank as one of the state's top 100 teams...however you'll be glad to know that the 2000 Indianola girls high school basketball team made the top 20!!
worldpicker (6 years ago)
RR: That whole area down there is like a big PR firm for OU. Have you noticed that they do all those goofy lists in the summer to kill time. Wasn't the last OKC writer to handle OU in an objective fashion run out of town and to Colorado or somewhere?

David (6 years ago)
uo got rooked at Tech by the refs... Now that's funny! Go to youtube and search: “Texas Tech - OU 2005: Touchdown, Red Raiders!” then watch the video evidence of Tech's TD. Sooners refuse to acknowledge the truth because they would rather whine and make excuses.
Colby (5 years ago)
Boise is a rag tag team that shouldnt have been in the BCS bowl, just look at the schedule and the conference they play in! Come on, if okie state played in the WAC they "might" get lucky and win that conference themseleves. AND i clearly remember that game in lubbock the Sooners got screwed TWICE. the Picker has nailed it right on.
jakie (5 years ago)
Well i think u can never be right about a game any body remember the OU Boisy State game
Cooper (5 years ago)
I had to go to the hospital after the OU Boise State game. It was so funny whin they got duped on that reverse.
I just got my tonsils out amd i ripped the stiches in my throaght.
It hurt and it was funny.
GOPOKES
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Out Pick The Picker

The Picker began entertaining – and infuriating – sports fans in 1993. Each week during football season, he writes about his picks of college and NFL games in his Thursday Sports column. He's never afraid of sharing his opinions about the game and the personalities who play it. Readers have a chance to go against him each season in the Outpick the Picker contest. He welcomes the competition.

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