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Punks Coach Themselves
Published: 1/5/2007 1:07 PM
Last Modified: 1/5/2007 1:07 PM


Hello? Bueller? Anyone? I'm standing right here.
AP


It's pretty much official.

Professional football and basketball players are uncoachable.

Take a guy out of the game and you risk having him tell you to shove it and demand your firing.

Remeber The Old Bull Coach on the pro sideline?

Spurrier?

The only face he got into was his own in the mirror each morning as he asked himself: What am I doing here with these spoiled loonies?

Only assistants spawned by the pro system seem capable of pampering the pro punks. But not for long. They see how much fun others are having coaching college, and they're gone too, like the man at Notre Dame.

Baseball managers have it slightly easier because there are fewer personnel decisions to be made during a game. Still and all, you can never tell when a pitcher might put his hands around a manager's neck, upon being taken from the game.

Punk owners have contributed to the pro football and pro basketball problems, paying punk players far more than they're worth, making the coaches more expendable than most of the stars.

There's no age limit on being a punk, just look in some of the owners' boxes.

A sports punk is defined as somebody who thinks he or she is more important than the game.

Here's a funny thought: Bob Knight coaching an NBA team.

The second team power forward would stuff Knight in a garbage can and mail him back to some punk collage president inside a week.



Reader Comments 11 Total

world picker (6 years ago)
Please see last Picker note in blog below, as well.
Chris (6 years ago)
I think the reason why Bobby Knight has never tried the NBA is because he's smarter than that. Who would want to coach a bunch of prima donnas anyway? I think there are some college kids that are getting just as bad too. I don't think pro football player are as bad, because football is more of a team sport. Kobe can go for 60 points in a game, but quarterbacks need their wide receivers and running backs and vice versa. The prima donnas in pro football seem to be mostly wide receivers too: TO, Keyshawn Johnson, Ocho Cinco... Is it cause they love doing a ten second dance/routine/skit/monologue in the endzone.


As for your note about Stoops, it's not possible to answer cause it didn't happen.

world picker (6 years ago)
Anybody notice who the leading candidataes for the great Steeler job are......the offensive coordinator and Russ Grimm!

Bill (6 years ago)
You hit the nail on the head, again, Picker! The two pro sports you single out have been out of control for ages.

It's easy, though, to blame the players, they're the most visible. The real responsibility, in my opinion, rests in the hands of the owners who can control the whole thing with their checkbook and manhood. They have too much of the first and far too little of the latter.

Instead of clamping down on the in-your-face antics, they encouraged them. Rather than let some glory-dog wither they double the contract. Because they wanted to hear the crowd roar, they told their officials to stuff the whistles on travelling calls if the play resulted in a slam.

I watch no NBA or NHL, very little MLB, and only a couple NFL games, because I so detest what those games have become. Think it could be a generational thing?
Jeremy (6 years ago)
"Can anyone name at least one good offense that Stoops has shut donw?"

I assumed this was a rhetorical question. I guess you are serious??

Since shutting out FSU's mighty O in the NC game, OU has had several great defensive efforts against quality offenses. I can remember a high-scoring Tech offense coming into Norman more than once and getting manhandled. OU shut out Texas not so long ago, and held them to 14 and 13 in two other routs. The Washington St. offense was supposedly a good one when the Sooner D held them down inthe Rose Bowl. OSU usually has a good offesne, and OU held them to 9 in a rout.

Stoops is a great defensive coach. Your takign shots because USC scored 55 and Boise 43 in recent memory. No doubt, these were bad efforts, and there have been other poor efforts along the way. Perhaps some coaches out there are getting a hang of the zone-blitzes the Sooners like to use, and the coaches will need to adjust in the future.

So, I say OU has stopped several good to great offenses over the past few years. You said great offenses...not great teams.

As for the main point of this blog, I can't stand any pro sport other than the NFL and playoff NHL hockey. I love football, so I put up with the NFL players' crap. The NBA makes me sick. Baseball is too long and drugged up (like all others I'm sure), but I'll watch the playoffs and the fall classic. This is a shame, too, because baseball has always been my first love. College athletics has always been the purest form of sport...but that has changed as well over the past 15 years. Even HS football is becoming a $$$$ and political contest among the big schools nowadays.

Jeremy (6 years ago)
By the way...I'd appreciate positive vibes from everyone on Ohio St. to cover 7.5 Monday night. If they do, I'll sweep the bowl contest I'm in with my two sheets (1st and 2nd place). Not gonna mention prize $$$ here, but it's not a laugher let me tell you. Anyone know a good bookie out there so I can hedge a little on the Gators?? (hahahaha)
Jeremy (6 years ago)
Sorry...one more thing.

Can the Dallas Coyboys invent any more ways to lose a freaking football game? I feel bad for Romo, but you talk about a choke job on an extra point-like FG attempt to take the lead. Incredible.

Wann Smith (6 years ago)
Knight coaching in the NBA? What a concept...I dream of such a scenario. The bullying little pr*ck would be b*tch-slapped by players before he'd finished half the season. But I tend to agree with the other posting...he's too smart to place himself in a milieu where his players are worth more to the team, both monetarily and on the court, than he is. He'll remain in college where his sort of low-brow behavior is tolerated.
world picker (6 years ago)
Ohio State should kill those bums.....
Wann Smith (6 years ago)
Ohio State 'should kill those bums?' Jeez...the silence is deafening.
txgc@mail.com (6 years ago)
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The Picker began entertaining – and infuriating – sports fans in 1993. Each week during football season, he writes about his picks of college and NFL games in his Thursday Sports column. He's never afraid of sharing his opinions about the game and the personalities who play it. Readers have a chance to go against him each season in the Outpick the Picker contest. He welcomes the competition.

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